Disposition

I don't know if this is something I can do anymore
Got so much rage and discomfort built up inside of me
Might just blow a whole zip between me and Benny by the time the night is finished
Life flashed before our eyes, saw that shit slowly diminish
Music, it's it
This is what I've always come back to the last four years I spent in transit
Leaves me feeling stranded
This about to be the fourth time moving back in with my parents
That's the real trap with me willing to drop everything and go somewhere else
Band shit even seems far-fetched even though I could use some help
Some musical help, I mean something's got to help get me out of this hell
This is what's gotten me to and from everything you see in between.
Wish there was a straight line between A and B
Been from A to B to C to D
Only thing I claim to be is an artist with anxiety
No one or nowhere to go with all these emotions built up inside of me
Know this is a different side of me y'all ain't used to seeing
I mean, how can you fault the boy for dreaming
For wanting something to believe in
Fighting demons through a melody this shit gave me some reason

And that's due to some poor decisions
To let some people in
Don't you worry
You're forgiven
Here's my disposition

The weight I used to have up on my shoulders is feeling featherly
How I think things through
Got like four- to five-year-old songs in pen and ink
Had verses cut up, puzzle pieced, taped to the bookshelf next to me
Stayed consistent even with only my best friend standing next to me
Benny, he my peninsula
Got my back, cut real clean
Yeah he the butcher
Benny it's insolate when this shit pops off and I start getting returned my interest
We ain't 'gone have to stress about trying to sell these creative minds on Etsy and Pinterest
Looking at the bigger picture, we 'gone finally make a living off our own interest
I know we been making this shit look intrinsic to those who ain't around us often
How we keep our minds occupied when we're going crazy and close ourselves off from
Radiating and reflecting theses emotions onto them
It's hard for them
How the fuck you think we feel wishing we could
When there's nothing else that we can offer them
Don't take it personally if and when I start distancing myself too
I'm aware of how it's affected the people around me and shown me the truth, truth, truth

And that's due to some poor decisions
To let some people in
Don't you worry
You're forgiven
Here's my disposition