Dreams or Nightmares

I can't reconcile if you stab me in my back
All these racks gone pile up, like bricks I make it stack
Been at it for a while now, getting harder to relax
I just want to smile but my heart want to relapse

Why do I not fear death, I done made my bed
I have dreams about laying a stone over my head
And an ocean full of tears that all my brothers went and shed
My vision less clear, I'm laid in puddles full of red

Fill my chest with money my heart broken past repair
I just keep on running but I can't figure out where
They just kept on dumping, I sent shots back at his hair
It's love until you turn and they all pray you get impaired

All my traumas came in pairs and all my troubles came in twos
And these niggas be two-facing, but my dead ones they all blues
Die and decay before a truce
It's only day ones, no one new
And I'll get paid with all my troupes
And I get praise to say my truths

And if I choose to, I could have whatever I want
But if I choose two, I'm coming for way more than one
Bet if she choosing I chose way before this shit begun
So I how I lose you if I just played the game and I been won

I can't reconcile if you stab me in my back
All these racks gone pile up, like bricks I make it stack
Been at it for a while now, getting harder to relax
I just want to smile but my heart want to relapse

Why do I not fear death, I done made my bed
I have dreams about laying a stone over my head
And an ocean full of tears that all my brothers went and shed
My vision less clear, I'm laid in puddles full of red

I can't reconcile if you stab me in my back
All these racks gone pile up, like bricks I make it stack
Been at it for a while now, getting harder to relax
I just want to smile but my heart want to relapse