Pleasure & Pain

I thought you might reply this time
Don't know who's been putting these
Silly thoughts in my mind
I thought one day you might be mine
What am I missing in my life
To make me think thoughts so sick
Why, why, why?

Thought I might tell you about my life
The way you made me feel important
made me think that you would care
That I'm alright
But who was I to think
That I'd stay in your mind
For more than the allotted time?

I like to pretend you wouldn't
Suck my blood and leave me dry
Even though these ugly fears still
Bounce around in the corners of my mind
I know from experience
There is a pleasure that comes with that pain
And to be very honest
Good feelings don't come easily
These days

These days I don't even
Tie my shoes
Too busy thinkin bout
Something knew
I guess I learned I've had
The power this whole time
And these days I can not pretend
You didn't know
What you were doing then
The question that still
Rings around my head is
Why, tell me why
Was it so important to be seen like that
In a nineteen year old's eyes?
I guess this question
Isn't worth me
Wasting all my goddamn time

So don't you go pretending
You would not
Suck my blood and leave me dry
But there is still a part of me wishing
You would call in the middle of the night
Cause I know very intimately
The pleasure caused
By that pain
And I hate to admit it but
Good feelings don't come easily
These days
Not these days
Not these days



Credits
Writer(s): Saturn Caronna
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