Numbers

It's not what I thought it would feel like
The praise that's seeping in
It goes as quick as it comes
Like it's carried by some strong wind
And I know what it seems like
That I'm thinking on leaving again

And maybe I'm just a little shallow
And if it's true that still waters run deep
Well then, I've been swiftly moving
Can the others see right through me?
My masquerades and my illusions
That I've crafted so carefully
Well, I'm just a broken illusion
Not as tough as I oughta be

Well, the flowers my mama bought me
They only keep for two weeks
And then they just become another reminder
That he's never gonna write to me
And I spoke my fears to my mother
She said "Honey, just let it be"
And then she sent some pretty flowers
With the hopes that my hurting they would ease

Well, you would think that I should feel happy
But the truth is I feel spent
And the numbers they've been climbing
Just not enough to pay my rent
I didn't use to think much of the numbers
But now, they're always racing through my head
And I guess that I grew a little shallow
When I forsook the words that my mama once said

And now, my thoughts are slow and twisted
And I can't seem to break them down
Which leaves my words false in meaning
I feel sad when I speak out loud
I thought I was to be a better lover
When I got out of that town
But I'm still no good in loving
And loving only leaves me losing anyhow

Yes, I'm still no good in loving
And loving only leaves me losing anyhow