December In June

Pastel hot air balloons
Rising across blue tapestry
Skinny lighted paths descend
Connecting grass and flowers and trees and me
To heavenly routes
Sweat drops like summer rain
Off my chin and beads on my arm and leg hairs
As if my skin is waterproof
A soupy air is breathed out of the ground
Filling my lungs with water-pocketed breath
And the snow falls

The cottonwood trees release floating seed
Like dandelion heads rolling in the warm breeze
They fill the skyline and flow
Like a waterfall of clouds
Pouring out of the blue river of the sky
Pouring down on my salty sticky body
As I lay out trying to brown my already brown body
More golden please

I look up at the cotton ball filled sky
And remember seeing a similar scene
Early morning
I was seven
Sleeping in the living room of Tia Esther's house
On a maroon couch with thick pillows
The couch was located under a bay window
The curtains were drawn open
And a gray sunrise crept through the glass
And blanketed the room

Pedrito, mira. Wake up. It's snowing
My tia declared in whispering tones

I woke
Rubbed eyes
Stood on the couch
And looked out the window
At the front lawn
And the palm tree
And the chain link fence
The black topped road
And the neighbor's houses
And the mountains
And the sky
All were peppered white and gray
Like a static television channel

Snow, Pedrito. It's snow
Tia Esther said
As she gave me my jacket
And told me to get dressed

We went outside and I marveled with wide eyes
Blinking snowflakes
As I watched her limp out onto the white lawn
Tia Esther contracted polio before her inoculation
Shortening one of her legs
I hesitatingly stepped on and through
The thin carpet of white
She told me it only snowed
Once every seven years in Vegas
And I was lucky to see it

Come on, Pedrito
Help me roll the snow together

Lucky?
Lucky was not what I felt
But rolling and packing and collecting
Stuffed hands of snow
Helped me forget why I was at Tia Esther's
Mom and Dad were divorcing
Dad didn't want me
And Mom was too distraught to care for me
So for a while I slept on Tia Esther's couch

After collecting all of the snow on the lawn
A lopsided three tiered tower of oblong snowballs
Leaned to its side
Kind of like Tia Esther when she walked
She went into the house and came out with
A Las Vegas Star's baseball cap
A rainbow colored scarf
And olives
She created his face and told me to find sticks for his arms
I found some palm tree leaves instead

We stood back and smiled at our sculpture
The white midget leaned to his right
And stood in the middle of the green lawn
Staring out
And feeling wary of his new surroundings
No shelter from the world
No one to wipe his snowman tears away
Or to warm him with hugs of committed love
No connection with anyone
He was the lone snowman of the neighborhood

The falling snow slowed as the sun rose higher
I looked up
And let the last flakes of the seven year miracle fall on me

Merry Christmas, Pedrito
Merry Christmas

Now
Today
I remember that little boy
Alone
Afraid
Like that snowman
And I still am looking up
Waiting for another miracle to fall on me