I Think We Need a Bigger Boat

Going skinny dipping
In the Atlantic Ocean
Can lead to corpses found
Eaten, rotting, and bloated
Closing down the shores
Is the only solution
To keep the beaches free
From severed limb pollution
The mayor doesn't find this
Suggestion funny
All he wants to save is
All that tourism money
But then a boy gets killed
By rows of endless shark teeth
The price of greed and ignorance
Was never this steep

A tiger shark is caught
But Brody still needs convincing
That it's the one guilty
Of the thrashing and mincing
A quick dissection proves
That this isn't our attacker
This small shark was merely used
As a fear distractor
A fisherman's corpse is found
Along with his boat
Even then the mayor
Doesn't really take note
The beach is packed during
The July 4th celebration
Which leads to wanton death
And bloody evisceration

Brody hits the surf with his
New drinking buddies
In hopes that they can keep
Their beaches safe and not bloody
The giant shark sets out to make
Them all her next dinner.
Thankfully our man is still an
Excellent swimmer.
Quint is gone so now it's down
To Brody and Hooper.
A tag team armed with guns
And a tank for some scuba
The two men were destined
To wash out like beach erosion
Instead, they blow the shark up
In a chunky explosion.