Trouble in Paradise.

I done kept it cool
But that's the calm before the storm
Only so much that a man can take before it's overboard
I keep patching up these holes
But I'm leaking at the source
And I ain't lying
Being genuine
It done shook me to my core
I know my worth, huh
That what ain't what this about
I don't deserve bout half the shit this world been putting out
This life done hurt me all these times
But I still stick around
It's real apparent those around me failed to figure out
About the meaning of respect and how this loyalty can live
On the surface things are the great
Behind my curtains I been hit
This ain't paradise to me
It's living hell I'm being real
I been pushed right to the edge but I can't jump
I never will

(Sigh)

But all the people closest to me cut me like a blade
I try to run from all these problems
But I can't escape
Acting like they really care for you it's like charades
The way they switch up on you crazy feeling night and day
There's some trouble in my paradise and I been feeling lifted
Brain a ship I thought was stable til a hurricane hit it
Lately I done lost my shit
I'm trynna find it I can't fix it
Giving up on everything just not an option but I'm tempted
I'm just another lost soul trynna find myself
Had it on my own til it all went left
It goes deeper than it shows
Scarred deep can't tell
If I'm healing or just coping with the cards that I been dealt

I'm feeling sideways
Been fucked over five ways
I'm going over guard rails, a hunnit on highways
To get away from feeling like I'm trapped with a migraine
Bags up on my eyes like I ain't sleep up in nine days
And I just wish that I could I say I love you to my bro again
It's his birthday while I'm writing this I'm tearing all up on the pen
Everything just hitting me at once
But no I'll never give
I try to look around for help
But it's just me and they all disappeared

And all the people closest to me cut me like a blade
I try to run from all these problems but I can't escape
Acting like they really care for you it's like charades
The way they switch up on you crazy feeling night and day
There's some trouble in my paradise and I been feeling lifted
Brain a ship I thought was stable til a hurricane hit it
Lately I done lost my shit I'm trynna find it I can't fix it
Giving up on everything just not an option but I'm tempted
I'm just another lost soul trynna find myself
Had it on my own til it all went left
It goes deeper than it shows, scarred deep can't tell
If I'm healing or just coping with the cards that I been dealt