praise / mature

I kept the glasses that he gave me
His hand sanitizer glued to my seat
The jacket he lent me with lipstick stains
Countless memories of growing pains

I was so young when I made those drawings
So so young to be full of longing
Desperately clawing for a love I was starving for

There was a void inside of me
That filled with the praise of anybody
Collected every drop from the open gates
Of boys who told me I was so mature for my age

I knew it was wrong to want him to want me
But I'd still chase his attention in any degree
I knew that I was in love when he let me cry in his shirt
Finally, someone is listening to all my hurt

As they'd look at girls their age I'd go into a rage
Throwing up every bit of jealousy and anguish
And cursing myself for my sins

And I can't help but remember
Age 5 mid-November
Maybe I'd be okay if we'd played that day

I was just a kid who could blame me
Just a little kid who thought she was in love
Mistaking this craving she had as romance

There is a void inside of me
That i've filled with the praise of anybody
Collected every drop from the open gates
Of boys who've told me I was so mature for my age

Twelve was so young
Thirteen was so young
Fourteen was so young
Seventeen is too young to be praised for my age