Overthink

All of my boys they got my back
One of the bros he sleep with a strap
So I can avoid anxiety cause any attack he protect himself
But what about me? My mind race too much
I panic too much so how Imma fight?
I overthink too much even while writing this song

Every time I bump into another man my mind says time to die
Trauma from what my bro went through, the blood that he shed resides in me
I don't even know how that happened, I'm more traumatized than he is
I guess I really feel too much, I guess I can't stop the feeling
But can you really blame me?
Every time a loved one feels pain, oh my god it pains me
Makes me think
That I'm not really ready for the world that I live in
Cause that's the type of shit people take advantage of and I'm just a vulnerable target, but maybe I'm just overthinking again
I'm overthinking again, even while writing this song
Public opinion fucks with my mind, it stops me from doing what I wanna do
Stops me from doing what I wanna do
It's hard to win when you're still learning to fight, but they gon judge me regardless
Heartache when I'm not dreaming, getting stuck is so easy
Always need something to keep me going
Always need something to keep me pushing
Motivation comes in different forms, but I've been searching across the globe and I don't know where to find it no more

All these times that I've been on my own, on my own
All my thoughts that have been running wild, running wild
All these days that I've been counting down, counting down
Never end and I'm just back to where I started
All these times that I've been on my own, on my own
Walk alone and I don't find a home, find a home
All these times that I've been looking for someone's help
It always just ends with me by myself again

I need help all the time, but I don't like asking for handouts
But maybe I should look at it different my friends would help if I asked them too
I think of their faces when I'm struggling
And how they would hate it if I ran away
So what do I do? I run away
No communication, I'm socially dead
For a couple of months and then I'm back
And what do they do? they welcome me back with open arms I'm always confused
Cause how they gon love me, when I didn't love them enough to involve them with any decision of my life?
Only concerned for my own well being
And never stop to think of how they're feeling
Do I hate what I do to them?
Do I hate what I do to myself?
Do I hate all the problems I manifest?
And am I really as pure as I think?
And does my heart really intend to do good?
All of these questions, I wish that I could
Stop overthinking it fucks up my mood
I gotta realize that I'm doing me, yes
I hate what I do to them, I hate what I do to myself
I hate all the problems I manifest, I wish we could sit down and talk
When I'm overwhelmed, but I don't want help
A trait that I got from my father
A weight I can't lift without being spotted
But that all comes back to needing help again
And that's not my style
I haven't been taught how to seek out, professional help
But without a doubt, I know that my mind is a gifted curse
Been that way since birth, yes my mind is a gifted curse

I know, I know you lost yourself
Overthinking, overthinking killed your dreams
Don't stop, don't stop trying to win

Find yourself again, find yourself again