Burt Reynolds
Cosmo made us think we're fat
Like sir mix a lot we weren't down with that
Or tryin to sell us shit supposed to make us hot
Then Helen Gurley Brown printed a beefcake shot of
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug, naked
Burt Reynolds
He straddled the line between safe and risky
Making everyone feel kinda frisky
His happy trail led to a dirty mind
That's a centerfold a girl can get behind
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug, naked
Burt Reynolds
Equal opportunity objectification
Cracked the door open to my sex education
Even though he appeared to be no Dirk Diggler
It mighta just been cold in there
Burt, we thank you—for that happy trail
Blazed the way for dudes to drop trou in the name of equality
And no we're not talking about non-consensual dick pics
Without Hollywood lighting and cinematography
And not yours Marky Mark, that shit was fake so it doesn't count
We're talking about
Richard Gere
Willem Dafoe
Harvey Keitel
Jaye Davidson
Colin Farrell
Jason Segal
Ken Jeong
Peter Sarsgaard
Heath Ledger
Ralph Fiennes
Ben Affleck
Kevin Bacon
Chris Pine
Michael Fassbender
And the king of full frontal, Ewen McGregor
But it all started back in '72 with the first guy
That had the balls to almost show us his balls
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug, naked
Burt Reynolds
On a bear rug
On a bear rug
Like sir mix a lot we weren't down with that
Or tryin to sell us shit supposed to make us hot
Then Helen Gurley Brown printed a beefcake shot of
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug, naked
Burt Reynolds
He straddled the line between safe and risky
Making everyone feel kinda frisky
His happy trail led to a dirty mind
That's a centerfold a girl can get behind
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug, naked
Burt Reynolds
Equal opportunity objectification
Cracked the door open to my sex education
Even though he appeared to be no Dirk Diggler
It mighta just been cold in there
Burt, we thank you—for that happy trail
Blazed the way for dudes to drop trou in the name of equality
And no we're not talking about non-consensual dick pics
Without Hollywood lighting and cinematography
And not yours Marky Mark, that shit was fake so it doesn't count
We're talking about
Richard Gere
Willem Dafoe
Harvey Keitel
Jaye Davidson
Colin Farrell
Jason Segal
Ken Jeong
Peter Sarsgaard
Heath Ledger
Ralph Fiennes
Ben Affleck
Kevin Bacon
Chris Pine
Michael Fassbender
And the king of full frontal, Ewen McGregor
But it all started back in '72 with the first guy
That had the balls to almost show us his balls
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug
Burt Reynolds on a bear rug, naked
Burt Reynolds
On a bear rug
On a bear rug
Credits
Writer(s): Barbara Hennelly
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