Terms and Conditions

There's a Problem Daughter koozie in the trash can.
Some kids are smoking doobies down the hall.
Cameron is jamming with a mariachi band
And playing perfectly in time
'til on the wall before them
Forms a pentagram.
Some satanic salsa played in drop D
Heralds in the fall of man.
And at the center of the five points stands
A Problem Daughter koozie in a trash can!
Metalheads and mariachis understand
That if you'd like to summon Baphomet,
All you need is a crew, a few instruments,
And a Problem Daughter koozie in a trash can.

An eternal pit appeared where there was floor,
As their dark lord walked right out the door,
And as they forever fell,
Our favorite metalhead turned
To their mariachi friend and said,
"If we find the bottom of this pit,
And somehow manage to continue to exist,
If we again decide to raise
The one who ushers in the end of days,
Let's remember to read the T's and C's."
Let's remember to read the T's and C's
Then their mariachi friend replied,
As a tear rolled down their face
"Incantations and serenatas don't come with T's and C's!
But we'll always have our Problem Daughter koozie in a trash can."
Metalheads and mariachis understand
That if you'd like to summon Baphomet,
All you need is a crew, a few instruments,
And a Problem Daughter koozie in a trash can.
Let's read the T's and C's,
Put that Problem Daughter koozie on a beer can,
On a beer can!
Problem daughter koozie, on a beer can
On a beer can!
Let's read the T's and C's
Then throw those T's and C's into the trash can!