Your Best Friend

After our date, I text my friends
Tears of happiness, we're going to the end
But hope is dangerous and I guess that I am dumb
For actually believing that you could have been the one

Cos it's been a week and you never came through
And my tears are too precious to waste on you
I've had my scheduled maniacal breakdown
I've turned a page but baby couldn't you just text back

So here's the plan, I'll remain intact
With some actionable steps so maybe watch your back
Cos sincerity is scary and people leave
But karma's for life, if you know what I mean

So here's to never being relied upon
And meeting hot people so we can move on
The one you grew up with, what was his name
And an Insta handle would also be great

I'm gonna find your best friend and I'm gonna date him
He's gonna be into it, which means you're gonna hate it
We're gonna turn up to loads of your parties
Kiss so hard you might actually taste it

Here's what you could have won if you weren't complacent
Every diamond's due a bigger replacement
Gonna find your best friend and I'm gonna date him
He's gonna love it which means you're gonna hate it

The question isn't how, the question is who
I liked the look of Brad, but maybe Michael too
Yeah you took me for dinner then you took me for granted
You took me for a ride, Disney World no enchantment

Cos God loves a trier but Jesus loves to hurt
And there's nothing more dangerous than a broken-hearted girl
He mends it so beautifully can I just say as well

So here's the plan, I'll remain intact
With some actionable steps so maybe watch your back
Cos grandeur is predictable but empathy is hot
And revenge is best served wrapped around your boss

So here's to never being relied upon
And meeting hot people so we can move on
The one you fell out with, what is his name
And a list of books he reads would also be great

I'm gonna find your best friend and I'm gonna date him
He's gonna be into it, which means you're gonna hate it
We're gonna turn up to loads of your parties
Kiss so hard you might actually taste it

Here's what you could have won if you weren't complacent
Every diamond's due a bigger replacement
Gonna find your best friend and I'm gonna date him
He's gonna love it which means you're gonna hate it

You played me like a fiddle
Every text a romantic riddle
But baby he is here and all is clear
And we are dancing all night long
I guess you were right
All good things they must come to an end
And all good things they must date your best friend