Unexpressed Love

See growing up I was an only child
I had no brothers n sisters to look up to,
Just my mom
And my dad, but me and my mom
We had a different bond
Even tho we always fighting,
Shook the house it felt like lightning striking
With the sound of thunder,
But I always wondered
How you kept that frown
Hidden under your smile
Cuz when your world got flipped upside down
You kept a clear head you said,
"baby ima be ok don't fret"
But after your doctors appointment,
The world refused to move
"Got the test results back,
It's not great news"
So I knew if I could, then I would
Do everything in my power,
To keep you loved until your final hour
Started losing your hair every time you showered
It ain't fair, but you never feared
You never cowered
And that's strength ma', For that I envy
Your heart was so full and now mines empty,
To put it simply
You are the reason that I love to do this; music
You were my biggest fan,
I aint gotta try to prove it
And no one could ever match it
You got me hip to the Beatles,
Fleetwood Mac and girl you really loved theatrics
You were the best of us all, while you were here
Should be consoling you,
But instead you're wipin my tears
After all of these years of taking you for granted
I understand that
My love for you should have been better managed
Then it happened, I got stabbed
And your world came crashin
Down worse than it already had
Then grandpa passed
Thought you almost lost your son
And then you lost your dad
While dealing with cancer on top of all of that
And that's strength ma', but me, I'm too weak
Thought you were making progress,
Then they gave you two weeks
- Two words
That pierced through my heart like
Two swords through armor
And just like clockwork,
Everyday you got worse
Everyday I felt hurt,
Now I'm praying in church
Like please God, Take her pain away,
Take her pain away
Then you, took her pain away,
Took her pain away (thank you)
I sat by your hospice bed,
With tears running down my eyes
With your hand inside mine,
As God opened his gates, and I said,
All my goodbyes
Thank you mom,
For the example you taught
- the laughter you brought
Your determination,
You always fought
For what you believed
And so you achieved it
A life that's been loved,
Is a life that's been lived in
You used to sing me to sleep,
Now you live in my dreams
And I can't wait to close my eyes
You used to sing me to sleep,
Now you live in my dreams
And I can't wait to close my eyes