InsomniAct

Some nights I sit in stress
Trying to decompress
Might get eight hours sleep but never feel refreshed
Got told once before I might be depressed
Although compared to half the world life in the West seems blessed
It's messed up
And I'm confused as fuck
Need to declutter my mind of all the useless stuff
It's messed up
And it's never enough
Trends change so quick that you can never keep up
Memory's fucked, my attention span's cut in half
Scrolling past documentaries in search of a laugh
On the long road to nowhere but I'm getting there fast
Waiting for the right moment, now the moment has passed
Constant distraction leads to my inaction
Do you ever feel like you only ever use a fraction of your brain's ability?
Overwhelmed with imagery
Most useful thing I own can often be my enemy
It zaps my energy and my motivation
Provides me endless sources of procrastination
Never leave home without it so Big Brother can watch me
Give it everything it needs, modern day Tamagotchi
It tells you you're not good enough, you need to conform
Every action is recorded from the moment you're born
Throughout human evolution this was never the norm
But you just follow all the others like a good little pawn
I mean, thank God that I found this pen
So when it gets to me I can just sit and vent
Tell myself it's not me so it must be them
And ignore the fact that I can feel it happen again
Am I losing my mind or just losing my patience?
Played the long game but now I'm tired of waiting
I realise I haven't truly smiled in ages
Grip the pen so tight I start ripping up slits in the pages

Vultures hover over my cage
A lot of people seem to tell me I'm too old for my age
Writing rap's the only outlet that I know for my rage
Hopeless romantic who's left loveless in a digital age
Am I blazing a new trail or am I trailing behind?
Am I the odd one out or am I one of a kind?
They say the one-eyed man is king in the land of the blind
But does the world outside match what I see in my mind?
If a man is an island, I could be the remotest
Buried on that island there's an underground fortress
At the centre of that fortress a titanium vault
Where I store years of mistakes and shit I see as my fault
But I never tell a soul, even those who care
Only see a curation of what I'm willing to share
People are funny, they're never quite what they seem
I'm less scared of my fears than I am of my dreams
Do good things come to those who wait?
Fuck that! You leave it any longer and you'll leave it too late
Never know when you'll meet Peter at the pearly gates
There's nothing sadder than potential in an early grave
On that note, I'm done following suit
Need to pack up all my shit, find myself a new route
Got to get my act together, put distractions on mute
Stop wasting so much time on a trivial pursuit

Brainfog clogging up your head
The alarm goes but you just want to stay in bed
You keep giving up your day for your daily bread
While you're picking up your pay your brain's barely fed
Your soul tells you you should leave but you stay instead
Deep down you know the truth but you play pretend
You want to make a difference, help change the trend
But the world's the same place when you get back to bed
You're late again today, don't even have an excuse
You tighten up your tie like a corporate noose
You set off with a sigh, every day lacks fulfilment
You never know how a long a day is till you're counting the minutes
It drains your energy, trying to keep focus
You get home burnt out and your dreams seem hopeless
Giving up this job would mean a hit to your wealth
But sticking at it long-term could be a risk to your health
You think your duty on this earth is to earn a crust
You suck it up, ignore the fact you're stuck in a rut
Forget about the moral of the Midas touch
And think The dark ain't so bad once your eyes adjust
Til one day you wake up and you realise
The spark's disappeared from behind your eyes
You told yourself you'd quit like a thousand times
But today must be the day you take your own advice