Look Mom, I'm a Rapper Now!

I used to wonder what this would be like if I let it go
All of this time that I spent, what would happen if I had to go
I'm haunted by my mistakes, I wanted to be the greatest
Falling head first into the end of all my life
Let the show go on up until I die
This is all I know, why would I not try
But it feels too much out of space in my mind, yeah
I'm out of space in my mind now

Where I come from, grew up around violence
PTSD, I can still hear the sirens
Didn't have much so I made my own world
It was too much noise, so the music my silence
If you got the same, try to do what I did
Try to have dreams, just close your eyelids
Don't let 'em take you off that path
'Cause regrets way worse than letting them laugh

And I'm always running from all my sins
Hate how it slows me down when nothing's letting me win
My hearts been cold for too long and way too many days
In the darkness, in the grave, man, sometimes wish I could change
Throw my hands up, say I'm done with falling

And I'm just throwing up all the ashes
There's way too much inside of my head
And I'm just throwing up all the ashes
There's way too much inside of my head

I used to wonder what this would be like if I let it go
All of this time that I spent, what would happen if I had to go
I'm haunted by my mistakes, I wanted to be the greatest
Falling head first into the end of all my life
Let the show go on up until I die
This is all I know, why would I not try
But it feels too much out of space in my mind, yeah
I'm out of space in my mind now