John the Con

My name's Mr. John McDonagh
I'll tell you I'm an Honest John
I'll tell you I'll pay you later on
But it's a trick
I'm John the Con

I'm John the Con, yeah John the Con
I'll con your dad and I'll con your mum
Wanna hustle like me, follow along
Here's a day in the life of John the Con

I wake up
Tell the wifey put on her make-up
Tell my daughters get in the car
We're going to the Shopping Centre (yay)
Right after the Services (awwhh)
Daddy's gotta hustle some normie squibs
This Skoda-driver looks gormless

Hey mate, I'm from Belgium
"What's up my European brethren"
Trying to get my family across the Irish Sea
It's liquidity I need, there's a cash-machine
Could you spot me a C? Mr Warner please
You'll have it by minuit
Honestly, trust me

Trust me, I'm a Christian
(Cross my heart and hope to die)
Trust me, I'm a Christian
(Upon this cross, I swear on my life)
Trust me, I'm a Christian
Trust me, I'm a
I'm a trick

I'm John the Con, yeah John the Con
I'm a hustler, yeah the con is on
I'll even say that I'm from Belgium
If it means that you'll part with your mons

I'm a Bad Boy, come see my Crew
Chilling in the back of my BMW
Don't them females look vulnerable
Make you lend money, yeah that's my fuel
"Can we get a selfie?" OK cool

See I'm the don
I'm John McDonnagh
But don't Google me cos I'm a con
Wait he just documented my face
And my untaxed plates (VO11YKY)

Whatever, I'm driving off his hundred quid
To the next Services and the next eejit
Oh no wait what's this
He says I "won't cop a crime"
So instead he's "gonna rhyme about" me

So share this til he gets 100K streams
Then he'll get his money back, guaranteed
Trust me