Gone

(V. 1)
Going through the motions, too far gone with my depression
Not a good enough husband or a father, it's got me stressin
That no matter how much I try to give, it's neverendin'
Life's been kicking me when I'm down, tryna teach me a lesson
I try to be happy, but I know that I'm done pretending
All the negative thoughts that I have, it's no more defending
I keep telling myself that it's happiness I'm avenging
But I end up feeling worse, continuously descending (into depression)
And ultimately, I hit these ruts, I'm up and down
Like a rollercoaster, and I'm just going through motions now
I have this fear of losing my creativity, I'm missing sounds
Cuz the music ain't the same, just put me up underground
I feel that over time, all the music, man I done lost it
Since I seen both grandparents buried up in their coffins
So I just keep walking, I'm so tired and exhausted
But at the end of the day, I'm the only one that caused it

(V. 2)
Call me a scapegoat, everyone takes me for granted
Cuz one day I'm just gone, and I didn't even plan it
I put this ink to the pad, cuz it's the only way out
Got me struggling with demons, always wondering how?
I question every move, then I say to bring it on
But I never thought I'd see myself so far gone
I'm walking down the valley of the shadow of death
Exhale, inhale, but never taking a breath
So many things in my life, that have gone unspoken
While I keep sucking it up, never knowing how I'm broken
And the memories are pain, and they say that you will miss it
But lately I've been zoning, I'm just feeling too complicit
With the fact that you can be left when you're at your lowest point
That's the story of my life, and I don't even have a choice
I can voice all of my sadness, it'll never be enough
That's my modus operandi, and it really fuckin sucks

(V. 3)
I was a failure as a husband, and a failure as a father
And some days I sit and wonder, why should I even bother
It took me way too long to get the help that I was needin
Now I'm suffering and giving everyone else all the reasons
To leave me, and to drop me like I never meant a thing
Even though I did my best, my conscience is never clean
Gonna live with the regrets of the thoughts that could have been
How I ruin everything I touch, losers never win
Staying strong for my daughters cuz they're all I got left
But when I'm lowered in the ground, they will know I did my best
I'm not perfect but I try to be the best for all my people
Wear your heart on your sleeve, then they just pack up and leave you
So I'm sticking to myself, can't confide in no one
I feel so far gone, and heartbreak is no fun
But I'm living in the moment, every day of what's left
I did the best with my all my trauma now I'm wishing y'all the best