Hara-Kiri

There's a speed camera in my head
Flashing me, telling me to slow down
But the breaks in this old shitheap
They don't work anymore
And I'm backseat driving anyway
Just waiting on a breakdown
Or waiting on a spin out
I know I'm gonna spin out

And crash into a ditch
Let them identify my body
Notify my family
And then they'll search through the wreckage
To find a piece of me, who I used to be
But there's nothing left to find of me anymore

I can't sit still now
Do anything for a way out
I got this minefield mindset, exploding at the seams
But it's a lock down lock down
You're not getting in and I'm not getting out
Stumbling down the tightrope of reality and dreams

The psychiatrist is saying that I've started displaying
Troubling behaviour and it's cause for alarm
A crisis referral's got me running round in circles
Drug me, dope me, before I do harm

Push it all away Push them all away
Push it all away Push them all away
Push it all away Push them all away
Push it all away Push them all away

Something's wrong
Impulses firing
This impulse buying
I've no self-control
Something's wrong
I'll do anything gratifying
And it's terrifying
I can feel myself letting go

Push it all away Push them all away
Push it all away Push them all away
Push it all away Push them all away

I've got everyone treating me like a stranger
And telling me that I need to make changes
And I know deep down that I am in danger
Of losing myself, of becoming someone who can't get back

Get back get back
To what? I don't know
But I'm feeling like I don't even care
Get back get back
Got to take your time, slow down,
Find out if there's anything there

Cause everybody's saying that I'm different
And telling me they're starting to lose interest
But I've lost all hope of finding a reference
Of who I was now
Of who I am now

They found me
Dying in the sheets
They found me
Dying in the sheets
They found me
Dying in the sheets
They found me
Dying

This shooting star
Will crash down hard
And will scatter, will shatter me
Till there's nothing left
When I've come to rest
And nobody to sift through the debris

I'm going to do what I want to do
Not going to listen when they tell me to
Stop overthinking and drinking just to get through
Don't want to stop or recognise
I'm living a life I fantasise
I'm staying up, taking off, gonna split the skies

This shooting star
Will crash down hard
And will scatter, will shatter me
Till there's nothing left
When I've come to rest
And nobody to sift through the debris

I'm too wired to be tired
I'm too bored, I want more
I'm getting haunted in the daytime now
By the things that go bump in the light
A sunrise through wild eyes
A sickline, a lifeline
I have a million things I want to do
And it feels like I'm running out of time

Fingertips reeking of cigarettes
I'm trying to make plans I'll soon forget
Cause I'm drinking anything for days on end
To stop the never-ending feeling of discontent
It's time for social media meltdowns
And 'Lost In Translation' marathons
With a broken compass stuck in my hand
To navigate a shitstorm I don't understand

With shaky hands
And nauseous turns
Palpitations
Carving arms
Empty bank balances
I will embrace all of
This is mania
I'll make my own reality
I'll be the person I don't want to be
Mania
I'll make my mind fully defenceless
I'll do what I want
I don't care about the consequences

I've been playing with matches
Burning to ashes all that's left of me
But when the smoke clears from my stinging eyes
All I can see is death in front of me

I've never hated myself so much
I'm finding shame but I'm losing touch
Opening my wrists while closing doors
I've never seen this much blood coming out of me before

Lost inside my mind
A mindset setting off a minefield
Tell myself that
It's not real
It's not real no
Oh god, this can't be real

I've never hated myself so much
I'm finding my shame, but I'm losing touch
Opening my wrists while closing doors
I've never seen this much blood coming out of me before

You're fucking sick
You're fucking sick
You think your friends care, you pathetic fucking prick?
Look at those arms
Look at those scars
They're fucking ugly and you know that's what you are

When you fetishise your misery
The vanity of your self-loathing
Thriving on your medical history
Just quit your fucking moaning

You self-indulgent narcissistic cunt
You self-indulgent narcissistic cunt
Another woe is me
I know they won't miss me
You self-indulgent narcissistic cunt

You're fucking sad?
You're fucking sad?
You entitled fuck you haven't got it bad
You don't know shame
You don't know pain
You've only got your fucking self to blame

There's a speed camera in my head
Telling me to slow down
Slow down
Slow down
Slow down
Hell no

I'll crash into a ditch
Let them identify my body
And notify my family
And I could crawl from the wreckage
Pull myself free, if I wanted to be
But there's just no fight left in me anymore

I've tried
I've tried
I've tried to exist
To be someone who's not ashamed of themselves
But I'm someone who's done trying now
All the little things I own
All the comforts of home
Can no longer console me now

Cause the life that I've shared
Is no longer sanctuary
And it's time for me to bow out
So I'll watch you walk away
An intricate ballet
I might be dragging my feet, I didn't mean to drag you down
I might be dragging my feet, I didn't mean to drag you down

It's over now
I can hear the sound of my grave in the wind through the trees
And it's screaming out my name
It's over now
Get the knife
Get your pills
Choke 'em down like you said you would
You can do it
Nothing matters now
The thoughts of the people you love
They don't matter now
They don't matter now

You've never felt so much peace in your heart
You can do it
You can do it
You've never felt so much peace in your head

Climb into the sheets
Drift off silently
Comfortably in bed
Into the morning light
Slip away softly
The last words in your head:
"It's time to die"
"It's time to die"
"It's time to die, it's time."
"It's time to die"

It's time to die, it's time
It's time to die, it's time
It's time to die, it's time
It's time to die
They found me dying in the sheets
They found me dying in the sheets
They found me dying in the sheets
They found me dying in the sheets
They found me dying in the sheets
They found me dying in the sheets
They found me dying in the sheets
They found me dying in the sheets
They found me dying in the sheets
They found me dying in the sheets
They found me dying in the sheets
They found me dying in the sheets