Impact

The Christmas lights on my ceiling
Help distract me from dealing
With the childlike feelings
The nightly dark keeps on revealing

And I don't believe in god but I'm twelve again kneeling
On a pillow begging for a way to start the healing

Cause I never left that bedroom with those all white walls
The door opens to a cliffside and I just can't fall
Cause my bones can't take the impact, I grew too tall
Too fast yet I'm still considered small

Read a twelfth grade level at age ten
It helped distract from all that was happening
Everybody moved on but I'm stuck back then
With the death threats, the police checks, and asking when

This god I don't believe in will start my healing
I can't stay on my knees but for this I'm kneeling

Cause I never left that bedroom with those all white walls
The door opens to a cliffside and I just can't fall
Cause my bones can't take the impact, I grew too tall
Too fast yet I'm still considered small

I wanted the world, impossible to satiate
How is it early birds always learn to run late
Is the worm a reward or was it bait
Either way it makes you easier to hate
I swear to god they set me up for this fate
Saying "kid you'll go far at this rate"
Then letting them rip into all that I create
And letting me stunt my growth at five foot eight

My bones can't take the impact
I grew too tall too fast
Yet I'm still considered
Small