How To Get Your Band On TV

I'm the boss of the company
And I've got hunger working for me
Listen, and you'll begin to understand
I built my profits on stolen land
It's the economics of supply and demand
And I make the demands around here
Product sells, people die
Same manipulation wrapped in lies
Give a little money and play your rock and roll
The biggest prizes to the biggest fools
Stand out stage please
Good evening, ladies and gentleman
Welcome to the show where, you, the audience participates
On our show tonight
We've got lots of surprises in store for you, at home
In keeping with the fashion for charity, not change
Here's our contribution, we've called it "Slag Aid"
For every pop-star that we slag off today
A million pounds will be given away

Paul McCartney, come on down
With crocodile tears to irrigate this ground
Make of Ethiopia a fertile paradise
Where everyone sings Beatle songs and buys shares in EMI
Charity, starvation and rock and roll
Let it be, hey, Paulie?

Freddie Mercury, this is your life
Thank the Lord that you were born white
And thank Apartheid for this wonderful opportunity
To peddle your hypocrisy in Sun City
A bit of a hot potato at the moment, eh, Fred, in South Africa?
Well, I'm sure there's a video in there somewhere (ch-ch-charity)

David Bowie, the price is right
With a suit full of compassion, and a gut full of shite
Still the voices of those who would doubt
Coca-Cola for the peasants to end this drought
David, the world can only take so much
And with you around, we're in for a really hard time

Jagger and Richards, game for a laugh
Dancing us down the garden path
To a place where money grows on trees
Where cocaine habits are financed by hunger and disease
There's only one mountain in the rock and roll business
Ladies and gentleman, and it's Mick Jagger

Ask the puppet masters, who pull the strings
Who makes the money when the puppets sing?
Ask the corporations where does the money go
And Cliff Richard, three, two, one (ask the empty-bellied children)
The God who remains when the religion's gone ("what are we singing for?")
Cliff, we've got a special surprise for you today
So, come up closer, step this way

Cliff, you're such an example of moral worth
Such a purist saint, come to bless our earth
And, on behalf of our viewers watching on telly
And, on behalf of the millions with empty bellies
We're donating something special
That we're all going to like
Cliff Richard, we're going to nail you up to a cross tonight

Ladies and gentleman, just imagine it
Someone comes along, takes everything you own
Your space, your house, separates you from your family
And then hits you in the face if you say any different
Well, that's what we've been doing to the third world for the past 400 years
That's you and me, you, the viewers at home
Me, in the studio, the pop-stars, everyone

That's how we make the third world
Everyday, today and everyday
If you want any correspondence with the programme
Just send your answers, letter bombs only to BP House, Victoria Street, London, SW1
Thank you, and good night
Feed the world, starve the rich, good night
I know there must be more
I know there must be more
Than giving just a little bit more
When half of this world is so helplessly poor
Starved of the real solution, charity and tradition
And the cycle of hungry children
Will keep on going 'round (I know there must be more)
Will keep on going 'round (I know there must be more)
Will keep on going 'round (I know there must be more)
'Til we burn the house of commons to the ground