Apathy's Devil

And to be honest, I ain't really doing well right now
Figured I'd pick up the pen instead of dwell right now
I thought, "Maybe this nine-to-five
Is eating me up and I need to chill"
But that's when your narrative gets weak enough for them to leach and steal
Sleep and repeat until you look back on your dream like "Was that even real?"
Damn, couldn't be me, man, I bleed to kill
I don't wanna talk to my grand kids like "once upon a time" nah, they gon' know exactly what it is without me having to speak myself
I peep the Machiavellian ways in this evil show
Making it look like they got my best interest
I'm a piece involved in a chess game for a piece of dough
But oh, they fail to recognize the king that they dealing with is Niccolo
That shit is nasty, ain't it?
I'm still an assassin with my gas tank on empty
I should be canned and shipped to Amsterdam
I'm a drug that they have to ban, I'm that amazing
I could change your life in a night if you had the patience

I can't see further from my eyes but I still go round-for-round
I lock myself in a padded room and this war still drowns me out

And a rebel in your thoughts ain't gon' make it stop, word to Lupe
I steady plot, trynna exercise what I do say
It's fucked up when you aware of your faults
But remain apathetic in the face of 'em all but still moving as if you great
That's why I had to step away from this shit for a little minute
Face the world around me and not box myself within these written's
I had to learn the art'll follow me wherever I go
I don't gotta wallow in pain, I paint where my heart go
It just so happens that it's beating in different directions currently
And I can't find a ease with these bickering questions
Like "why can I only feel peace for a slithering second?"
My life ain't even that bad for me to be feeling this tension
And I'm fucking tired of hyping myself to sell it to y'all
Half of my life was spent rapping to mask that I'm sensitive, dawg
I'm in a crucial state of confusion and agony
Feel like the devil placed me in hell to laugh at me