I Still

I still remember the day that it clicked for me
You were using me for all your little games
And how you raped me every day
I still remember the way that you
Talked me into fucking you
After I said no like twenty times 'cause you were on your period
I'm serious when I say
I hope you die alone after spending life in jail and I'd be okay with it
Still blown away with
The way that you got away with everything you did to me
You broke my brain now there's no fixing it
I still think of the way
You said you fucked me just to entertain yourself
And it made me blame myself
I'm still disgusted with
The way you acted disgusted when
I told you I was disgusted with the way it made me feel
When I was covered in blood you skipped the discussion when
I told you that you fucked me when I didn't want you to
And you just said it didn't count
And you just said it didn't count
I still
I still

I still remember the day that you sucked my dick like
Five times in a row and by the third time it just hurt
But if I said no, then you'd be pissed for the rest of the night
You really normalized the way you treated me
It's so fucked up
I was just sixteen when you rewired my brain to have sex be all I think about
And not just that but it's something that I crave now
And it's so inhumane how
I hope this time you dig your grave and fall in it
And the worst part of all of it is
I can't say I hate you
Guess I never got that far
I still remember the day you said you fucked me just to entertain yourself
I hope you blame yourself
'Cause now I have to blame myself
For what you did to me
And I'll always have to blame myself
Or shift the blame to others who just fucked me just for entertainment
Just to entertain themselves