Decompression

It's been a little minute since I kept it real with myself
Resisting the issues that came with cards the time dealt
Don't mean to dismiss you but it's been long since I felt
A positive reinforcement feeling my mind melt
Falling victim to the illusion
Been heavy on my mind while fighting through the confusion
Excuse my oversharing it comes with the self intrusion
At the same time I'm fighting the urge of self retribution
Where my mind go
This ain't a drill I been out on my own
Ever since them rollers came and took me out of my home
I contemplated suicide more times than I can condone
That next five I knew I had to be strong
Did it alone
While sitting alone up in a cell
I was forced to pick up my cross and drag it across the gates of hell
For those of you thinking you know me oh so well
There's a side of your story in which you lack intel
Look
Chasing dreams though these times been the hardest
We in a day and age where everyone's a musical artist
Without ability or introspect to know where they heart is
It's like the blind leading the blind I feel it's truly retarded
And though I can't knock how a person cope
I just feel we should assess before we claim we woke
And influence a generation drowning in pills and smoke
Clinging to hope
When we just broke adults our damn selves
A damn shame

I'm feeling the pressure kicking in
Anxiety is becoming one of my closest friends
Silent addictions are tryna get the upper hand
Indulging in things I shouldn't while scrolling through the gram
Uncomfortable conversations had as a married man
Disgruntled from all the things that I seen inside the pen
There ain't no glamour in wasting your life behind a fence
Tear gas and riots killing quietness
Clinging to your soul seeking righteousness

93 Told me get it out of me
So now I'm manifesting these visions inside of me
Freeing my mind and moving a bit more quietly
I switched my tactics up and matured on a lot of things
I Think I'm the man now
Can't nobody say they made me
They see the way I move and mistake my genius for crazy
Learn to read between the lines
And pay attention to the signs
It all reveals itself in time
In a time where comparison is king
Everybody swears the next soul possesses something out of reach
If I had a dollar each time that was said to me
I'd be a part of the elite
While most of y'all dragging y'all feet
I manifested every part of the plan
Battling through these demons that's forcing my hand
I told her I don't think there's much more that I can withstand
She told me that what's meant for me will come around and surely fall within my hands

You could say that again
You could say that again
Yea yea
You could say that again
Could you say that again
Yea yea
Would you say that again
Would you say that again
Could you say that again
Could you say that again
You could say that again
Could you say that again
Would you say that again
Yea yea
Would you say that again Disgruntled from the pen
Hiding behind a fence
Yea yea
Look what they made me give
Look what they make you give
Yea yea