Lose It

I don't wanna lose it
Holdin' by a thread, I
Wish I could forget, but
I don't wanna lose it
Scared of movin' backwards
Stuck inside a pattern
I don't wanna lose it

Never thought I would take off (take off)
Fly round, land in the same spot
As I said, it's about time when I get to cloud nine
But it only left me with brain fog (yeah)
I don't care what the press say (nah)
Everybody knows I'm a head case
I don't need a doctor to tell me
No x-ray, can explain my chest pain

I don't know what I believe anymore (more)
Don't I know if I believe what I read anymore (more)
Like the world's gone dark, everybody's got a gaslight
Tryna help me see through it all, and I see through it all
(Yeah) waitin' for an apology
Got a better chance of makin' it with the lottery
Hate that I always wanna be on my own, now
I'm seein' anonymity taken as animosity

I understand if you wanna disown me
The last few years, I am not a good homie
There's a part of my shit that I gotta be ownin'
How I wanna be alone but don't wanna be lonely
Yeah, but I like to wonder
What life'll be like when I'm tryin' structure
Can I rise above? The guys, I love ya
Even though I treat phone calls like a private number

Know what I'm gettin' in my own thoughts
Went and made a fuck-up like an iPhone chord
As I look in the mirror, couldn't be clearer now
We ain't seein' another eye in life at all (at all) (lose it)
Puttin' in the work, they can notice improvement
Listen to the words that I wrote in the music
Careful now, 'cause

I don't wanna lose it
Holdin' by a thread, I
Wish I could forget, but
I don't wanna lose it
Scared of movin' backwards
Stuck inside a pattern
I don't wanna-

Yo, for years I was lost in a silent state
With a head so loud in a violent rage
Feelin' fated to go throw life away when
Real life is the one thing I try escape
Now I'm trapped with a lion who can't be tamed
Back to square one now, gotta start again
Instead of runnin' away, I try to embrace and face
All the shit up in my life that was hard to take, I

Parted ways with the party ways and I'm
Partly weighed down by that part today
Don't give a fuck about anything, it's hard to take
When I'm feelin' so much in me that it's hard to say
Yeah, paid for a vase and a nice bouquet
I'ma place on a grave when it's Father's Day
My mind's evil, let's save 'em and grievin' for people
And they ain't even pass away (yeah)

'Cause I know I'm gonna hate it when they will be
Overthinkin' everything, it got me feelin' guilty
Distance will be only ever buildin'
Thinkin' everyone I meet is only here to milk me, yeah
So sharp it'll kill me
Let myself go, now feelin' so filthy
Pick myself up, I'm puttin' it together how
I never been before but I knowin' what I will be here, yeah

I don't wanna lose it
Holdin' by a thread, I
Wish I could forget, but
I don't wanna lose it
Scared of movin' backwards
Stuck inside a pattern
I don't wanna-