An Underlying Hum

Did I fall away from God?
Or did he fall away from me?
I internalized myself
And became all I chose not to be

It's a cascade of doubt
That runs my vision
It's a moment of self
That makes the division

I could've turned back
And went the other way
But my gut told me
Where the cards needed to lay

It's a second of relief
It's the gun to my teeth
It's an underlying hum

There isn't a shroud of doubt
That I deserve this
I'm made of these things
And now they become my purpose

I moved every way I could
Toed every single line
The moments that made me
Are growing in my spine

You'll take, 'til these last seconds
I'll wait for God to answer every damn question
If he made me, why did I have to be like this? (Be like this?)
The pain, it's in every fucking lesson
I'll hold this weight till the very last message
If he made me, why did I have to be like this? (Be like this?)

I'm stuck with myself and that's never been enough
I'm looking for a way out and I'm losing touch

They never listened
Always had a condition
They never listened
Always had a condition
They never listened
Always had a condition
They never listened
Always had a condition

It's just an underlying hum
It's just an underlying hum