Wildfire of Plague

Why doesn't this house
Still feel like a home
How is it that I
Can be surrounded by ghosts
And yet still feel so alone
The destruction in my brain
Is showing far beyond my veins
I feel worthless and exhausted
The exhaust in this place
Circulates the shame in the air
A home is no different than a vessel
The result is dependent upon the soul
That inhabits it
If that soul is broken
Everything becomes a mirror
Will I ever see the light again
I could just pop another Vicodin
I'm relearning how to fight again
And I won't stop
And you won't hear from me until then
I've gotten comfortable with
Having everything stripped away
The anxiety it spreads
Like a wildfire of plague
I cling for dear life to my past
Cause it's the only thing I know
For certain I can make last
This is a house
I wanna get out of this town
Like my soul within my body
I'm trapped within this place
I hold myself hostage
Don't you see that I'm exhausted
The exit only taunts me and it laughs
Right in my face
Every room has a flashback
Attached to it
Each wall coated with a different sin
My daily ritual is to wake up
And suffocate
I say to myself
What kind of Hell did you create
Draw the blinds
Shed some light
Feel rejected
Lights deflected
Off of every shattered memory
Attached to me
Will I ever see the light again
I could just pop another Vicodin
I'm relearning how to fight again
And I won't stop
And you won't hear from me until then



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