Off the Deep End

I'm off the deep end
Back stroke, drinking, smoking
I don't need your help I'll keep this thing of ours floating
Thinking, who do I have left to trust the list has been shrinking
Missing, people in my life who made a difference
Wanting, someone I can love but hate commitment
I've been, hurt too many times I have my limits
And now I'm closing myself off and staying distant
Sorry that's the Guinea in my blood I'm unforgiving
And I'm always planning
I have a vision
It's been that way
Since back when I was whippin' dishes
And now I'm here to take what's mine
I decide exactly how I run my business
And you can move however you like
I got my own way, my own opinions
My own wants and needs
Mostly money, weed and women
I don't like it anymore than you do
But it's what it is
I've been off the grid

And I've been outta range
I stay higher than the clouds my heads in outer space
I'm with people my own age and I feel outta place
Maybe I was born too late
Maybe its because I say it how it is I keep it straight
Maybe it's just me I put a lot of pressure on myself to get us where we're going
Cause I just want to see the finish line
Before we're outta time
Ive lost more than I can count but never lost my pride

Lord knows I've been close, I've been close baby
Oh I'm trying not to let it go even when I'm tempted
'Cause I don't wanna do something that I'll regret
Tryna keep the peace
Tryna keep it sweet
Tryna give em everything they need
Without losing me
I just hope the effort that I'm putting in is worth the dream
And I just hope the lesson that they learned was not to fuck with me
I'll make sure you think about me every time you go to sleep
I keep coming back because I'm stubborn no one's stopping me
No one tells me what to be
I paid my dues
I'll open up the books when I decide I need a new recruit
Someone that can do what I need them to do
Any time I call on them to round the troops
Any time I feel I have a point to prove