God of the Worms

Nothing can describe the orgasmic joy
That I feel when I lunge for an officer's service weapon
Give me a brand new hole in my head
Let the pigs join in my assisted suicide
Nothing can describe the ecstatic joy
That I feel when I drag the blade across my skin
Give me a brand new hole in my chest
Let the vultures eat my wretched heart

Nothing can describe the agonizing pain
That I feel when I look somebody in the eyes
Give me a brand new hole in my head
Let the public join in my livestreamed suicide
Nothing can describe the excruciating pain
That I feel when I make a human fucking connection
Give me a brand new hole in my heart
Let the pastors tell their beautiful lies

Pretty words mean nothing
In the face of my undoing
All your white lies and half truths
Are just wikkr's next meal
You're all like children, you see
Babbling and saying whatever you think
No fucking filter, no restraint at all
You'll all be so filling

Pretty lies mean nothing
In the face of my unfurling
All your prayers and pleas for mercy
Are just wikkr's next meal
You're all like children, you see
Ruthless and vicious and taking it all
Drive someone to suicide and laugh about it
You'll all be so filling

Have you ever seen someone go insane?
It's not fucking pretty, I'll tell you that much
At first I was in pain, but I came to enjoy it
Relish in it, seek the torture, make it burn like hell
Every day I kill myself a little bit more
I make it burn, tear my skin to shreds
Rip it all out to see what's inside
A morbid curiosity fueled by rage and masochism

I can't think, through the orgasmic pain
I can't feel, through the ecstatic torture
Where does my skin stop and the pain begin?
Is there a me anymore or am I gone?
There is an idea of me in everyone's heads
But they've got it wrong, they've got it all fucking wrong
I'm not here, nor there, nor anywhere
I'm missing inside my own fucking head, don't you understand?

Filth, bathe in your filth
Wretched and worthless
Squirm in the dirt
Under my foot
Be my next meal
Tear up my stomach
Cut your way out
So I can shove you back in
And do it again and again

You're fucking shit
Dirty and tainted
Squirm in the mud
Under my fist
Be my next blade
Corrode my veins
So I can shove you back in
And do it again
And again and again
And again and again
And again

Why am I like this?
I stopped asking so long ago
But I'm asking again
Not out of horror, but admiration
I'm so much better
Than all these worthless fucks
I became god
While they writhe in the trash

Why am I like this?
I stopped asking so long ago
But I'm asking again
Because I haven't known myself
I'm so much worse
Then everyone around me
I became god
Of the worms and the dirt

I became god of the worms and the dirt
While you serve the devil, I sold him my soul
Yes I'm empty inside, I'm lower than human
But you're even lower, you serve a false idol
I became one with the filth and the muck
While you serve a god that couldn't fucking care less
Yes I'm stupid and worthless, don't remind me
But you're even lower, you're the filth below filth

Layers of grime and dirt and shit
I dig through it all just so I can hit something
Because if I hit rock bottom then there's only one way
Surely there's no low beyond low
But there is, I hit it so long ago
I can't comprehend this crushing despair
So I'll just kill you all instead

I hate myself more than you could ever love me