#Saturday16s Medley

You hear
All those voices
That's me
That's me

Look
I'm not the best with the bars or the flow
But I'm tryna work it out so all the mussels can grow

See I got talent with a vision but the people don't know
It takes a lot of hard work for your TV to show

And I been sitting on my asphalt
Turning into asphalt
Sittin super still
Stick of steel in the asphalt
Earthquake mass fault
Brilliant mind assault
Everything is crazy
Super hazy like them bath salts

But I ain't sitting here stagnant no more
6 am I quit the snoring and my feet hit the floor
See I wanna do a lot so I gotta do more
I gotta make the work flow my mind is moving the oars

And I ain't never gunna stop even when I do make it
I be on the up and up like economic inflation
My feet are planted on the rock so I can never be shaken
The new Jay-Z way I'm rocking them nations
Let's go

New Jay-Z way I'm rocking them nations
Let's go

I'm the new Jay-Z yea

Ight yea yea yea
Slow it down lil bit

Let me get a
Let me get a organ

Aye yessir
That's what I'm talking bout

Take 'em to church deacon
I said take 'em to church deacon

Hey yea

Look
My circle's smaller but my influence got bigger
See random strangers tell me just like holes my man I dig ya
Love that you are growing and can't wait till you get bigger
But we was never friends so don't you act don't you act

My circle's smaller but my influence got bigger
See random strangers tell me just like holes my man I dig ya
Love that you are growing and can't wait till you get bigger
But we was never friends so don't you act like you Mon-ica

I'm not against new friends, I just know how some folks be
They be quite as that mouse until you show up with that cheese
But my life ain't all glitz and glamor it's not what it seems
Cuz I'm still pinching pennies just so I can pay for things

You ain't never wore my jersey so you was never on my team
You was sleeping on the boy but you ain't never seen my dream
And if teamwork makes the dreamwork like a animation team
Well you can take your donkey self to Madagascar far from me

Look
I'm Muhammad with the bars a floatin' bird stingin' bee
Another colored youngin' good with words like Akeelah in the bee
And even when I take it slow I'm lapping rappers up with ease
I think I'm overweight I ain't never seen defeat

Look
I'm over stressed I need a rest like cuffs and hands
Cuz all my rhymes and all my time's in high demand
Put to the test my life's a mess I need a hand
But I'll debate it then overrate it can't understand

That I need help sometimes walkin' through foreign lands
This new world of adulthood feels like sinking sand

It's full wizarding odds like tigers bears and lions
But thought it's dangerous I know I'll make it so I keep trying

To do my best every single day I'm on this earth
Yet still I fail and I fail often but that's how you learn
I've seen more rain than I've seen rainbows but it could be worse
At least this rain is washing me instead of causing burns

But still I'm feeling down and out there's nothing left to give
It's only by the grace of God I have the will to live
A broken heart broken bank broken everything
Yet in the midst of all this rubble I will choose to sing

Keep on pushing
Keep on pushing
Keep on pushing
Yea

Said keep on pushing
Keep on pushing
Keep on pushing
Yea

In your darkest of moments my God He's glowing
When you're weak in the moment He comforts the mourning

Keep on pushing
Keep on pushing
Keep on pushing
Yea

Keep on pushing
Keep on pushing
Keep on pushing
Yea

In your darkest of moments my God He's glowing
When you're weak in the moment joy comes in the morning

So keep on keep on keep on yea
Keep on keep on keep on yea
Keep on keep on keep on yea
Keep on keep on keep on yea

See I talk about this a lot
But I haven't really put it in a song yet
Or at least this vulnerably

Most of my life I have dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts and actions
And in two thousand and nineteen the fall of two thousand and nineteen not long after My twentieth birthday
I almost committed suicide

Hmm
Really thinking of where I wouldn't be if I had gone through with my plan
If God hadn't stopped me
If you or anyone else you know or love may be dealing with mental health issues
Suicidal thoughts and actions, depression, anxiety, the whole slue of fiery arrows the Enemy throws at us
Please contact somebody please reach out for help

There is a better and brighter future
I know it doesn't seem like that, I know it sounds cliché to hear
But I promise you as somebody who was in your exact same shoes
There is a whole different side of life that I am currently living that I never thought existed
That I never thought would have existed for me
Right before the summer of two thousand and twenty-one I was at a worship night with My two roommates at the Time
Two of my best friends and at that worship night as I was singing praises to the Lord and Giving Him everything that I had

And telling Him Father wether I'm depressed my entire life or wether I'm joyful my entire Life
Whatever I feel you are worthy of my praise and honor and adoration
I lifted up my hands as high as I could get them up to Heaven and just started singing
And praising the Lord

And in the closest thing to an audible voice I have ever heard in my entire life
I heard the word "Freedom" and it wasn't from like a person or
Like I said it wasn't God's audible voice but it was the closest thing to it
And at that moment all of the chains and weight of depression and suicidal thoughts and Actions fell off of me

And I just- for the first time in my entire life I felt weightless
I felt free, I felt new, I felt anew
I started looking around like the way that I saw things looked was it was different
Life didn't have this mellow and depressing filter over my eyes anymore

I was looking around in disbelief and just seeing with joy for the first time
How beautiful life actually is and how gracious I am to be where I am
And how grateful I was to be feeling the things that I was and I started going crazy

I started giving the Lord everything that I had like I didn't care about anybody beside me
I didn't care how anybody thought I look or how I you know people perceived me
I was going crazy because I finally felt freedom for the first time in my entire life

And that is possible for you as well
That is possible for everybody who is hearing this who is under the sound of my voice
Don't make me start to preach I will start to preach right now I promise to you

But just don't give up
My pastor says all the time "You will never know what victory looks like if you give up and Quit"
Had I gone through with my plan and God not stop me I would not be here today

I would not see freedom I would not wake up with joy in my eyes and in my heart every Single day
I wouldn't have the relationships that I have I wouldn't have had the success however Minor It Is that I have
I wouldn't have gone the places that I've gone

I wouldn't have been able to speak into other kids lives who were dealing with the same Stuff I was and them see freedom had I given up
People need you somebody needs your story
I know it seems so insignificant to you and in your mind but somebody needs your story
So get up seek the Lord and seek help
Freedom is out there
Keep on pushing