What is California?

let's rearrange and disengage
and learn distractions
to feel okay
in my head
in my heart
i am falling apart
my friends
and family
know i'm hanging on by a string
i can't face it
all the love is fading
now i'm becoming
a cliche

hanging on
holding on
to what is not there
hoping for something better to reappear
why are we doing this
oh it's insincere

my heads in california now
why are my thoughts so fucking loud
how the hell do i find a way out
i'm just another face in a crowd
that no one even knows about
hoping i will make it through
the come down

i give and i give
and i take and i take
and i do anything
to stay awake
i leave and then i say
things i don't
ever really mean
and i have
too much fun
winning this game of hide and seek
but it's what i have and what i don't
it's who i call when i say won't

i'm still
hanging on holding on to what is not there
hoping for something better to reappear
not to sound sad but i just want to
disappear

my heads in california now
why are my thoughts so fucking loud
how the hell do i find a way out
i'm just another face in a crowd
that no one even knows about
hoping i will make it through
the come down

i'm grasping
i'm reaching
hanging onto a greater feeling
i'm crying
i'm screaming
to keep me breathing

i'm grasping
i'm reaching
hanging onto a greater feeling
i'm crying
i'm screaming

i'm in california now
and my thoughts are too
fucking loud
but i don't wanna drown them all out
cause when nobody's around
and i don't recognize myself
it's all i got to be found