This is What's Real

Baby, I met you when you had a Harley
You didn't do meth, but you knew how to party
With your arms wide open American poetry
Wrap them around me don't ever let go of me
You look so gangster in your faded bandana
You knew every jail in the state of Montana
Maybe that's what shaped you and made you who you are
I never felt safer under any other stars
Than the ones in your gaze when you'd tell me how to feel

This is what's real, this is what's real
Your whiskers in my hair and your whisper in my ear
This is what's real, this is what's real

Your heart got sweeter just when everything got harder
You got me a puppy when my husband got a lawyer
And they took away my kids, took away my walls
Your arms were open, they were there to break my fall
And I never thought that blindness could ever feel so good
We left everything behind us and set off on the road
Mad euphoria, time stood still
For just the two of us as we tumbled down a hill
In your sultry western drawl I want you to tell me how to feel

This is what's real, this is what's real
When I'm curled up in a ball I want you to hold me til I'm still
This is what's real, this is what's real

We got a bottle of some kind of horrible on Halloween night
And I must have said, what a thought of your friends we got in a fight
And I think you took my meds but I know you took my car
And I felt so sick and scared just wondering where you were
So I reached for you, I reached for you I picked up the phone
And I called for you, I called for you I dialed 911
And they bound your arms behind you in that schizophrenic light
I was only trying to find you I was trying to make things right
Oh baby, how do I teach you just how deep I feel

This is what's real, this is what's real
I was put on this world just to need you didn't we have a deal
This is what's real

Evening drew on and I was alone pretending to hear your voice
You said, baby, just forget the past and don't appear in court
And I'd tell you I was sorry but I didn't know what sorry was
With a bed sheet and your own two hands you chose to end our love
You died alone in jail where my useless heart never found you
God damn it, I would've come for you the stupid car was impounded
But I hope whoever saw you felt tenderness and loss
As they wrapped their arms around you to lift your broken husk
Like I gathered up your poetry and I soaked the words in tears

This is what's real, this is what's real
And I tremble uncontrollably I am wracked with guilt and fear
This is what's real, this is what's real

When the starlight falls through the barren trees
And you tell me how to grieve
I believe