Junior

I've been wondering
If somewhere out there you're okay
Do you have something to say?
Do you have something to say?

Now I'm gone away
Maybe one day it'll all fade
Wish it was all a masquerade
But we're far apart and it'll never be the same

So I'll tie my shoes and bite my lip
Until it all feels numb
And those cigarettes stuck on my wrist
Reflecting what is done
And I can't hear your voice like I once did
And have it sound the same
Since you told me that the only thing
We share is our last name

But I still
Want you to hold me like the first time
Want you to tell me that it's alright
Want you to feel the pain that I can't fight
But I need you to leave me
And not think twice
And live your semi-charmed kind of life

And now I'm wondering
If this all meant anything
18 years flushed down the drain
Will it ever be the same?

You're still a part of me
That I know I can't replace
I feel like I'm going insane
Will you ever fix this pain?

So I'll spark one up and slit my wrists
Until it all goes numb
And the memories of what we had
Will float into the sun
'Cause I can't hear your voice like I once did
And have it sound the same
Since you told me that the only thing
We share is our last name

But I still
I still know that you're not coming home
But I'm hoping
Oh, but I'm hoping you might
I still know that you're not coming home
But I'm hoping
Oh, but I'm hoping you might
I still know that you're not coming home
But I'm hoping
Oh, but I'm hoping you might
I still know that you're not coming home
So I
So I can tell you that I still

Want you to hold me like the first time
Want you to tell me that it's alright
Want you to feel the pain that I can't fight
But I need you to leave me
And not think twice
I still wake up and think of you
And hope you die
My home was taken right before my eyes
Starting to wonder why I fucking try
Maybe it'll be better in another kind
My own semi-charmed kind of life