Flinching
When I pick and rip my nails, it brings me closer to my father
But it also makes me wither
Trapped in a memory loop of abuse
An unwelcomed history lesson in shame
Echoes of my hated and broken body
The taste of soap in my mouth
I wish they would stop appearing in my dreams
When I wrap myself up in the tongue of tomorrow
It is nearly impossible not to recognize that I am not worthy of it's warm and gentle embrace
But rather the confining dance of its sandpaper like skin
Grating and crushing
Slowly peeling away my layers
Lapping up the blood and the serum and the tears with a snicker and a wink
Because all that I am worthy of is a bath
Cleansing me of my sins
Cleansing me of my skins
Cleansing me of myself
This is what dreams are made of
But it also makes me wither
Trapped in a memory loop of abuse
An unwelcomed history lesson in shame
Echoes of my hated and broken body
The taste of soap in my mouth
I wish they would stop appearing in my dreams
When I wrap myself up in the tongue of tomorrow
It is nearly impossible not to recognize that I am not worthy of it's warm and gentle embrace
But rather the confining dance of its sandpaper like skin
Grating and crushing
Slowly peeling away my layers
Lapping up the blood and the serum and the tears with a snicker and a wink
Because all that I am worthy of is a bath
Cleansing me of my sins
Cleansing me of my skins
Cleansing me of myself
This is what dreams are made of
Credits
Writer(s): Rain Matheke
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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