Introspection

I'm tired of hiding my emotions
When I talk to my creator

This is my introspection
Looking back on life just tryna see if
The things that I've done with my life
My Fathers pleased with
Slow it down like it's a gear shift
Settle down so I can see his
Word that has been clear as night and day
Like we're in Genesis
I thought by now I'd be living all of my dreams
30 years old and married to the girl of my dreams
Figured my plan and God's plan were Siamese
But our plans
Never really joint at the seam
He told me go left
But I went right
Then I got when He said run hard
So, I sat tight
Told to me to wait
But I caught feelings and took flights
In hindsight I should've listened
Now I'm salty and looking for God's wisdom
See its odd I was questioning God
Told him his plan doesn't make sense
Though it had much better odds
Was tryna balance what I'm seeing
With the faith that I believe in
But faith comes by hearing
And hearing makes the odd things even

I'm tired of hiding my emotions
When I talk to my creator
I'm tired of hiding my emotions
When I talk to my creator

And In my introspection
I'm just tryna see what's what
Being honest with myself
Like this is where I messed up
Dividing dreams from reality
Truth from dishonesty
Do I even worship God
Or how other people viewing me
Is well done my good and faithful servant important
Honoured by my creator cause my purpose I really served it
Do I want likes comments and shares
From people with different hair
Who don't care
If I'm a pauper or an heir
It's a hard life chasing your passion
Chasing your dreams
Feel confident cause you know these are God given dreams
Promise is a land of honey with milk flowing through the street
But the pasture to the promised land isn't always green
It's lined with fake in greats spaces
Doubting my calling had me standing in the wrong places
And I'm amazed
Thought this people were the real thing
But they were counterfeit
To counter it
The holy spirit showed me the real thing
When life was good and well
It was standby me
But when the boat started to shake
Everyone chose their peace
And in the valley of the shadow of death
I made the lions my pets
So what's next
Bring on the enemy feast

I'm tired of hiding my emotions
When I talk to my creator
I'm tired of hiding my emotions
When I talk to my creator

Look, and in my introspection
I see I could be much better
Let go and let God
Cause he really holds it all together
My hindsight is perfect
Cause my vantage point has changed
So maybe
I should trust in the inventor of the game
I'm made in his image
So I look like him
Old me is in a casket
I used to look like him
Wanna see God when I look in the mirror
So I open the scriptures
And every sentence
Makes that image much clearer

I'm tired of hiding my emotions
When I talk to my creator
I'm tired of hiding my emotions
When I talk to my creator