Despairing ~ I.V

Take you time, take your time
Taking my life with you is what I've been doing all this times
Said I can't act blind
And I can't take kind, all the stupid decisions you tried to hide from my eyes
Talk to Lucy, I done made a deal for you, sacrifices I'de sworn I would kill for you, you Were blind folded I well devoted I said I would feel for you, that wasn't real for you, was It
I was left on my own thoughts, from some parts I couldn't move on
It took years to realize I wasn't in the wrong
Always thought you were perfect, picture perfect, but I didn't fit in your frame
Your circles were open, but I couldn't say the same
My importance was for you to be safe, now I'm hurting cause you don't fell the same way
(Take your time, take your time
Reach out for me, with arms I can see, to make my wishes come true, cause they always Do
I always do
But your such a)

I said I'm going through stress, incompetent like the rest, picking my skin out
Seems like I'm never content, I've wrapped in her net, cause these holes in my chest
Been to deep for her to invest in
Can you help me instead
You and her got me in my head
I've been living in stress for the past three years, but it still feels like this all just a test
But I still can't comprehend why my jealousy's been immense, maybe it's cause of her Maybe it's cause of her, maybe it's cause she's his
My intrusive thoughts have been at their best, death's been an every day topic, no one to Stop me to stop them
And even God to get tired of watching, and I'm tired of sobbing, what can you do when This is what life intended
Life's got some fucked up intentions, and I'm the one who's getting them
Sophs I'll forever despise you, how you so damn perfect, since the moment I saw you
Damn girl I know you where worth it, but slip I said my fucking mind gone, whenever I'm Without you
Charismatic but I'm still indecisive
Because I'm dealing with a change of domineer
Wasting my time with you only made these cuts deeper
Said you got me recollecting in a mess of milliseconds
I can't seem to suppress it
I'll fucking act different in your presence
(But I still can't manifest it
Said you served your purpose
And you thought me a lesson)

It was only cause of you I lost my spot in heaven
Regarding my decisions had I had a false perception
Had I miss-read your intentions
Was over my head, maybe that's your way you're speaking, but I couldn't listen
You couldn't hear my voice cause it was only my vision, I'm over here thinking about What it could've been
About what it could've been, but it isn't
I want to kill everybody looking for your improvisation
We turned to strangers there was no relation, so I had to hold this resentment in
Loving you is a false prophecy, I can't pretend, I can't pretend like I was better off without You in the end
But your ignorance wasn't the only problem In hand
Y'all niggas dumb and belligerent
I had to take out y'all's inferences, catching you snakes slithering Making me think y'all All sons of serpents
I'm certain y'all cover y'alls image with currents
Cross my hands, close my mind, no more open service
That was the choice I had to make, that was the hand I had to take
I was in my own self estate, got tired of eating off of plates, did this for my own damn Sake