Ride

It's just arrived on the scene
A new miraculous, spectacular pedal-power cycle machine
Why not take one for a spin? It's the latest craze
You could get from Massachusetts to Ohio in a matter of days
So let the getaway begin, don't be deterred

Its construction's far from random
With every part working in tandem
You'll be riding like a pro
No need for chaperones, it's you who sets the pace
Let's liven up the human race
On your marks, get ready, grab your bike and go

Just ride!
Leave the past behind you
See you what lies beyond the bend
And ride
Forget what once defined you
And get ready for your new best friend

Hear the gentleman whine
This titanium monstrosity will surely lead to moral decline
Every broad will catch the bug and start to roam
You know a woman should be gearing up for clearing up the mess at home
But only daughters pull the rug, this is absurd

I hear the bicycles vibrations cause unspeakable sensations
Set their private parts a-glow
It gets so hard resisting urges that take flight
With all those ankles in plain sight
Don't worry, fellas, I'll be gone before you know

Just ride
Leave the past behind you
Let the critics condescend
And ride
Their attitudes can't bind you
So get ready for your new best friend

And maybe you will find
That change of pace, that shift in gear
Will help you realize who you wanna be
A different state of mind
Who wouldn't take the chance to disappear
To disregard your worries and be free

To leave the past behind you
Take a road that has no end
And ride to where your life won't find you
And get ready for your-
Just get ready for your-
'Cause I'm ready for my new best friend!