Bloodshot

Looked in the mirror seen a reflection
But it wasn't me
Eyes bloodshot
Sneaking tears so no one could see
Another foundation
To cover the fresh black and blue
Scratches on my skin
Hoping the swelling goes down soon

A bite mark that won't go away
A headache I can't seem to shake
Tired of seeing fists
I'm on the wrong side of a sunny day

Hands up to protect my face
Apologies just wanting grace
Isolate me, isolate me
She was grooming me to be her prey

Everyday Im healing cause
The pain she's caused had seemed to stay
I was lying to myself that this was love
When it was something else

That's the kind of love most people don't speak about
Yea that's that kind of love I tried to fix
If we could speak it out
Instead it was toxic triggered trauma
When she'd beat me down

Had to overcome a fuckin monster
So I could see me now
I lost friends
I lost me
Love was killing me softly
Hardly ever recognized
To my inner child I apologize

She asked me what would make me leave
I asked myself what made me stay
Her abandonment and abuse
Made manipulation her favorite way
To keep me around
I had to find a way to break away
Cause this crying in the mirror
Hiding horrors
Ain't worth saving face

I never deserved it
No one ever does
You came this close to taking me
Like this close to shaking me
And I'm turning my pain into pleasure
Start paying me
I am turning my pain into pleasure
So start paying me

Everything you done to me
I've already done
Word to Celie
Heart is beating
Close your eyes and then you'll see me
I am the haunting of your grieving
I am your nightmares
I am the haunting of your grieving
I am your nightmares

The cycle's broken
No words unspoken
We healing now
I unlocked a new side of me
And then I popped out
You see me now

I'm in my baddie zone
All the haters they need to watch out
Removing all the knees to the necks
Cause i'm on top now

Ancestors cover me
Bitch bye bye
Ain't no turning back

Im finally
Making room for things
That inspire me
Quite honestly

This femme's fires ignited
I'm here to show up
Cuz they gaslit the fuck out of me
Now watch me blow up



Credits
Writer(s): Desiree' Wilson
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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