Croutons (feat. Devin Ferreira)

Time to wake up
It's Monday morning
Gotta get prepared for work

I look in the fridge
For something I can bring
Into the office for lunch

But the pantry is empty
There's nothing there
Guess I'll hit the supermarket on the way

For a prepackaged salad
But the proportions are all wrong
I don't want this many croutons

Five or six would be fine
But I don't want 29
That's just way too many croutons

Time to wake up
It's Tuesday morning
Gotta get back to the grind

I look in the fridge
And staring back at me
A half-eaten salad from yesterday

But the pantry's still empty
That's all I have
I guess I'll bring it even though
I'd rather have something else

Than a prepackaged salad
'Cause the proportions are all wrong
I don't want this many croutons

Five or six would be fine
But I don't want 29
That's just way too many croutons
(Oh man, look at all these croutons)

Here we go
Tomatoes, carrots, lettuce
That's fine
But I counted the croutons
Why are there 29?
So I push 'em to the side
But I get confused
A crouton snuck onto my fork
And I chipped a tooth
An egg salad sandwich is
What I should have got instead
What's a crouton anyway?
Isn't it just stale bread?
I'm eating salad to be healthy
That's already so hard
Why you putting bread on my salad?
I don't need the extra carbs!
If I had more time
I would have made my own lunch
These proportions are all off
There's way too much crunch
I wouldn't even mind
If you wanna put some fruit in
But that's all I need
I'm going easy on the gluten

(In my)
Prepackaged salad
(It's a Caesar)
The proportions are all wrong
(Pretty bad)
I don't want this many croutons
(No thanks)

Five or six would be fine
(More than enough)
But I don't want 29
(That's way too many)
That's just way too many croutons

(I should have got the gabagool)
(Oh well)