Has Been

My home, is frigid and ice cold
No different to my zone
Whenever I write poems
My dreams are psycho
Achieving all my goals
Inject the emotion, it's memories in flows
Lord clean my feet, they ache with weak bones
Nowadays people soft, egg shell's on these roads
Left home, so I can be myself when alone
Tryna work so my family can eat like death row

The growth is evident when I play the music
I used to make and my spine feel like a Slurpee drink
It's hard to think how I was stressin' then
People selling love, why did God cut the middleman
I leaned on people too often
They felt my weight on they shoulders but tellin' me I'm a burden wasn't an option
Her soul like back home, cold shoulder, she bein' heartless
But gave me X and O's when I was making her topless
Who do I trust? That's a hard list
I used to do it too much, so it's something I'm tryna do less
Played my cards right
Shit hit the fan, I said deuces
Better move since Ryu combos and Shoryukens
Marvel at nothing but conscious
Out of body like you faded alone in your apartment
Bitch, I ain't praying that I'm on next
I'm praying I can bless my family and thank them for their hard stress
I'm running shit like how my parents got water
City lookin' hella gray, when I look even farther
Still young, lemme learn because my mind always wonders
What's success? Blessing others or seeing the numbers
Self employed tryna work on myself
See my reflection just to check on my health
Saw my future like Denzel
I'm walkin' cause I started to melt
City cold, you coming back? Better get comfy with hell
Stephen King with the stories I tell
Drunk calls, ring mistakes with a bell
You pickin' up, we catchin' up, I see you living in the past
And you ain't over it
Ask me how I've been
The evolution been astonishing
Left the city to move on
A few months gone
Then I dial my ma
Sayin' I wanna go home
Devil take me on the journey
Now I reap the rewards
But living back in my city ain't something I can afford
So you can, run a dollar
I need an impala, Older than me
Fuck a designer, unless I'm reppin' Virgil or myself
Design my life, sketch what I'm feelin' in myself
For the health of tellin' mama that imma get her the wealth
Bad little bitch in the whip like I got a belt
Cards dealt, I don't see the hand, I just knock the felt
Can I get a check for these words that I just vomit out
Drinkin' so much liquor that my liver could melt
No choice, when the city where you from got has beens
City where a winner come up from trash bins
All the empty candles and the floors we was ashing
All for the sake of tryna get all the cash in
Never could've imagined the passion could take me this far
From high school, I'm laughing
Shoot shots, no Johnson but could be magic
Tragic pasts of my own I used to rant bout
Now I'm tryna get the food inside of my mouth
Without a nine-five
Ain't even 25, I'm electrified
Seen a bunch of lies, pouring outta they soul
Just to front and turn they back for the green
You ain't a goat
Debate my talent
Then I'll kill for the point
Too many noises
Bitch you know I stay monstrous
You stay boisterous
Back when I was in apartments
Id hit the pan and pot shit
My mama tell me stop it
Please Pete stop it