Ofsted Off Their Heads

Lemmie take you back in time
To Gateshead '09
There was a little guy
A few foot high
And all he ever really wanted was
Acceptance from his peers
Though his daily bread was served upon the pool of tears

Chapter II taking you back to Year 2
(I just really need to knaa that you're listening hew?)
Where the entire year
The young lad got harassed
In between Mass and Prayer
He couldn't even
Last a day without being saved
By the bell, well...

Because of basic biological
Self-preservation
His coping mechanism
Was lashing out in self-defensive
To those that'd trespass against
But the fully fucked corrupt system
Always picks on
Survival instinctive retaliation to offence

Therefore the poor bairns consequences
Became a vicious cycle of constant
Unjust punishment
With the ring leader being his teacher
This cunt named Mr McCarthy
To be more specific, a fucking dick
That manhandled him
Up and down corridors
While he'd weep and bawl
Normally while passing those
Stairs to the left of the assembly hall
As he'd try and hold
On to the banister rail for dear life
(Why?)

And this was his sentence that entire year
Walking through the front gates
Down the path to the yard
Every morning riddled with guilt and fear
That he couldn't bare
As he was put onto behaviour report
A blatant excuse from
Deceitful, scheming, merciless
Persuasive and proud Mr teacher
To target and prey on his every move
He'd try to speak up, but it wasn't any use!
"I'm right, you're wrong, I'm big, you're small
And there's nothing you can do about it!"

Aye nee one believed the kid
Not a soul
'Cause the teacher was a man, fully grown!
And the kid... well he was just a kid!
What does he know?
He should be punished for what
Mr teacher said he did
Though I guess nee one
Realised the child was an actual victim
Bent over by the system
That had just been singled out
For a weekly dose of Whickham was dishing

Guess Ofsted are shady dickheads
Dirty wankers
What the fuck they on?
Outstanding report in 2008?
Well If primary were that great
I'm Henry the 8th
Now gimmie me cake!

And the bairn tried everything he could
Just to be "good"
But nothing was any use!
Charming Mr teacher already had everybody hooked
Had the naive parents
Continue the punishment at home
To make it truly 24-7
He'd hold up the little lad by the ears
In front of the entire class
Ignoring his floods of tears
In awe and drooling from the roar of cheers

Made the bairn the class laughing stock
So his peers would feel rejoiced
Disgusting gruesome solo mental warfare
The little guy had no life that entire
Academic year 'cause teach got off
Scot-free with the daily
Humiliation tactics well until right now...
He thought he got away with it
He thought he got off the hook
'Cause he gave the child 'Imp the chimp'
The class teddy for "most progress"
At the end of the year
Though you'd think there would have been
Basically level duty of care
For developing vulnerable kids
That are easily influenced?
But Ofsted were too busy
Sniffing coke with Jenni back in
08 and 09 to pay attention to
A school they gave an outstanding
Report to, but it got to the point where
One thing led to another
And he came home after school one
Day and told his Mother
"I have voices in my head that be telling me what to do"
But she didn't believe him...

Psychosis was never even a conversation
So there was not an evaluation
Nor consultation
No questions asked
Just condemned to damnation
(Just condemned to damnation)
And you know what made it pretty sad
(And you know what made)
I'm not even sure the lad
Actually did have voices telling him what to do
I just think he ran out of excuses
And couldn't catch a break
(He just couldn't catch a...)
(Ran out of excuses)
(He just couldn't catch a break)
How I really very wonder
If it'll affect little Timmy when's he older
You reckon it'll leave him with some... trauma?

Ya better fucking hide!
Ya silly fucking nonce!
'Cause I'ma track you down then
Beat ya to the ground and
Pound you with elbows
So you better hope those
Stacked up prayers reached the lord
'Cause I know when I'm done with ya
You'll be busted up and
Bloody on the pavement
Aye how that'd be for repayment?
I'm gonna choke you with a tie
Pull it tight till you fucking die
With a cheeky smile
Dedicate it to my inner child

Guess Ofsted are off their heads
On lavender, sage, marjoram
Roses and rue
But for me a hangman's rope
Is where it be
Aye that'll dee I'm easy

"88% of schools are either rated 'good'
Or 'outstanding'
So if Ofsted has a fault, it is
It's too generous and too kind..."

Baring the scars to this day and age
No matter how ballsy upon this stage
Pipping up directly to their face
Not slagging off from behind
Trying my best to stay sane
Whilst kicking over the distant sandcastles
Covering the repression that peeps
In my ways
The cruelness of a helpless child being
Severely mentally deranged
Obviously not holding those former peers
Accountable, that'd be insane
Because of their age
But yeah, I still rewind those old reels
With internal strife
But that's on me
For hanging on for dear life
To a bridge I've ignited
That doesn't even exist anymore
Can only say a prayer to the lord
That my words on this chapter
Don't get misunderstood and I'll try and keep calm...

For once, I should

I'm not attacking every single
Primary school teacher
Some had my back when I was young
And for that, and for them I have
Nothing but love
I hope if they hear this
They aren't disappointed in me
I'm sorry for burning this bridge
I promise I won't rock up to
Whickham gates I'll stay away

Oh Ofsted save your fucking breath
You guys, the police, the NHS
Always have excuses for your actions!
But it's always me who ends up
With my head in a noose with no action

Ofsted (guess Ofsted)
Are shady dickheads (are off
Their heads)
Dirty wankers (on lavender, sage)
What the fuck they on?
(Marjoram, roses and rue)
Outstanding (but for me)
Report in 2008 (a hangman's rope is
Where it be)
"Ey where the fucks me cake?"
That'll dee I'm easy
"Fuck sake"

Baring the scars to this day and age
No matter how ballsy upon this stage
Pipping up directly to their face
Not slagging off from behind
Trying my best to stay sane
Whilst kicking over the distant sandcastles
Covering the repression that
Peeps in my ways...

It's always us that pay the
Price for your corruption!