Push Ups

Things looked up now I'm scared to hit the kush up
Kick 'em out the party cuz I'd rather go and cook up
I could spend a lifetime thinking what I shoulda done
So tired everything feels like push-ups
Things looked up now I'm scared to hit the kush up
Kick 'em out the party cuz I'd rather go cook up
I could spend a lifetime thinking what I shoulda done
So tired everything feels like push-ups

On the screen where it used to be HD
Or I never had it and that's all I used to be
Don't know what I fear more I just know they're both scary
(Like they ain't beat it in a minute my excuses come easily)
I don't even feel the burn if it's not 4th degree
Could you make a couple long stories short for me
End with why my compass anything but northerly
And start with why my mind is anything but orderly
I'd sell my soul to you for you to sell your soul to me
All the things I've ever done that I loved did 'em soulfully but
Lately got the same spirit as a bag of groceries
And they been sitting on the counter for a week
That's right
I think this ice cream is melted
It's definitely not frozen
It might be the sad place
Just right in between them
Fear of the unknown
Led me to know nothing
Let my demons all roam
Or we can go hunting
I don't really wanna know
Just thought it so funny
Make a snow angel
On a snow bunny
Things looked up
Now I'm scared to hit the kush up
Kid came out the party cuz he'd rather go cook up
I could spend a lifetime thinking what I shoulda done
So tired everything feels like push-ups
Things looked up
Now I'm scared to hit the kush up
Kid came out the party cuz he'd rather go cook up
I could spend a lifetime thinkin what I shoulda done
So tired everything feels like push-ups

Trynna show 'em, Trynna
Trynna show 'em I'm a man so I'm kicking out security
I'm 6' flat I can take what they can throw at me
On my own
I'm not scared of getting old
Was the single biggest lie I've ever told
to my self or any body I've ever known
Bring it on Bring it on I promise I can take it all
Tell me how I'm this exhausted doin shit all
I think I need to start drinking coffee
I think I need to start drinking coffee
Or sniffing that nose candy tell me what's the difference
Either way you feel better but you always feel different
Call me awkward or pathetic or anything but a quitter
I'll take it all to chest and eject it right out the

Fuck what you think I need
Take me places I know
If you told me to fall I'd ask how low
My mind need a oil change wasn't this low
Used to sail down my rivers now I'm
Trynna make 'em flow

Ooh
I fell flat
Legs dead weight
Crawled with my arms back
I've never felt this sore
Whispers in the black
Screaming at me staring back
There was no one to ask
Won't somebody take me home
Shoulda been running but I sat in place for so long
And I thought I was so strong
And I thought I was so strong
But now letting go feels like the default
But I still need to tell myself it's nobody's fault but my own
You didn't plant any seeds
Of course you don't feel grown