IOH (inefable old habit)

I know, that in a while someday
I would look back in time
See how exaggerated I was
Truth is, I am too ashamed
Of feeling like this and the fact that
You are not gonna hear it
I know, I get too upset
Cause I can't control
Whatever's happenin' in your head
Truth is, I am still a "yes"
For every night
You decide to be there
Maybe I want you so bad cause' I know we don't last
Maybe you're wasting my time cause' you know we come back
I'll have to admit
I disagree when my friends tell me
I deserve more, you're not
Good enough for me
Cause I also disagree with your
Idealization of me
That won't let you enjoy that
Instant between us
Maybe I want you so bad cause' I know we don't last
Maybe you're wasting my time cause' you know we come back
And I have to protect myself
But it's so hard cause' in my head
You're still there
Maybe I'm crying you out cause' now I realize you are
Maybe I want you so bad cause' I know
We are never gonna last
Maybe you're wasting my time cause' you know
I'd always come back
And I have to protect myself
But it's so hard cause' in my head
You are always gonna be there
Maybe I'm crying you out cause' I know
You're always gonna be
The inexplicable I need
The connection I can't read
Inefable old habit
You have your ways, this one's mine
To fake goodbye