Greta the Goblin

We found her sitting in a pile of bones
Deep inside the crystal cave
Rusty armor and her club of stone
And a tendency to misbehave
Cleans her teeth with a lockpick
A dagger to do her nails
A fashion sense of dungeon gothic
And affinity for ales
It feels like we were meant to fight
This tiny greenish dame
But it simply don't feel right
So we asked her for her name
Set down her club and read the room
Not sensing a vendetta
A voice rang out through the tomb
Its uh
It's Greta

Greta
Yeah, Greta the goblin
You just made that up
Did you just make that up
Listen, just play the game alright

Greta the Goblin
Greta the Goblin
A rogue at three foot three
Greta the Goblin
Greta the Goblin
Our favorite NPC
Master of the underdark
A regular reveling matriarch
Queen of her trash domain
Best highlight of the campaign
A character with no plan
But always gets the upper hand
She's got the guts and wants the glory
Absolutely no backstory

I don't think there ever was
A plan for her to join
But if you can distract the guards
She'll steal a little coin
You need to bust into a hall
Well, friend say no more
Just roll her up into a ball
and bowl her through the doggy door
Pocket raccoon with a knife
And grabby little hands
She'll light a fire or two or three
And load her pouch with contraband
Maid of pandemonium
Hellraiser night and day
If you ask the party who's the best
Here is what they'll all say

Greta the Goblin
Greta the Goblin
A rogue at three foot three
Greta the Goblin
Greta the Goblin
Our favorite NPC
Master of the underdark
A regular reveling matriarch
Queen of her trash domain
Best highlight of the campaign
A character with no plan
But always gets the upper hand
She's got the guts and wants the glory
Absolutely no backstory

Greta the Goblin