Letter To Tom

It made me who I am I gotta take 'em where I started
Remember when I used to leave the room and hear 'em laughing
Living out a suitcase with no money I was starving
People I grew up with would see me and walk right past me

Now they beg for my for attention
Post traumatic stress, I've seen some things I'll never mention
Rap to vent all my depression, this my form of self expression
Every time I'm in my hometown feel the pressure and the tension
Still got ten toes down, but most my people in the sky
Snakes smiling in my face, I see the evil in their eye
If they knew how many died, they'd be thankful that we're still here living
Little brother isn't blood but he's my spitting image
Said that we'd be smiling, different cities pumping billies
Crying happy tears, 'cos we really fucking did it
Loyal as they come and have been from the beginning
You had it harder since a kid, but you've never played the victim
And trust me brother, that's what makes a winner
I remember starving empty cupboards in the kitchen
Struggling with addiction, dirty cups that we were sipping
Mix Phenergan with the Rikodiene to block out all our feelings
Mixing Vyvanse with speed trying to fight the fatigue
Don't talk about it much just make it rhyme on a beat
We were trap-house living wasn't much of a home
Barely survived our teens, now you've got son of your own
Said you're gonna break the cycle in my heart I never doubted you
Don't say it to your face enough, I'm so fucking proud of you
I'm sorry I don't visit much it's been a minute
But it gives me hope and inspiration when I see you with him
Drew died didn't think I'd live another year
Washing Valium down with whiskey so my vision wasn't clear
My brother in the dirt, had to face my biggest fear
You didn't leave my side once, never judged all of the tears
That we cried, they could probably fill the ocean
Struggling with addiction, mania, psychosis
But you always stayed solid, always stayed honest
I've got your back until my last day brother that's a promise
Didn't wanna tell you 'bout the times that I was suicidal
It's like you knew somehow, you wouldn't leave my side
It's weird to reflect on, life's different without Drew
But without your support bro I'd be in the ground too

Way too real, the fake could never understand
Always something in the way, we had to find a better plan
Make the best out our situation doing what we can
Since you were sixteen years old brah I've seen you as a man
When we lost Drew the way you took it inspired me
Made me find strength, I couldn't even find sobriety
And that weren't the only demon you were fighting with
Your blood brother locked up in a prison, but in spite of it
You always showed compassion to my situation
A lot of them know Salty, but you know Hamish
Wanted nothing in return except my love and respect
So no matter what happens you're my brother 'til death
One of a kind you're a different breed
Partly blame myself every time you're sipping Rikodiene
How could I blame you when I know half the shit you've seen
Was 20 when I watched our brother die but you were in your teens
Hurts to see you in a trap, but I know you've got a kid to feed
And life in that city's bleak, the cost of living isn't cheap
The profit flipping g's equals like a milli' streams
I miss when life was simple but nostalgia's always bitter sweet
Trying to make a million, I'm sorry for the distance
But who am I to tell you change if I can't offer something different
Even on my worst days you'd always come and visit
So no matter who I cut off I still keep you in my visions
I know my memories fucked, but I don't forget where I'm from
Fuck it then, I guess I'll call this Letter To Tom, done