Lil Apple

In a place where walls don't exist
In a place where the sky is endless
Where dreams are not forgotten
Others' minds are made of cotton

You've thrown out all the knives
A steady stream of beauty to eyes
There's meaning in everything done
Listening to others is fun

You're okay with feeling small
When you're not there's someone to call
Everything you do feels like reality
Every thought you have is an epiphany

You're no longer stuck to the ground
You can stand and walk and fly and drown
The mirror shows you what you wanna see
Ways you wanna spend your time are freed

Do you mind these thoughts that I'm keeping?
Would you mind if I just sleep in?
In the day you're trying to find meaning
In the night you're lying while you're sleeping

Blindfolded, sprinting, hoping for the best
Comfort found in lying on his chest
You don't know if it's life or a movie
Trouble being who you wanna be

Caught up in feeling fine
Forget what it's like to feel alive
So much closer to the ground
So much further from finding out

Nothing seems to satisfy you
Anything that you try to do
Ends up feeling fake and forced
Nothing steers you back on course

I began to notice
Every time I pull the blankets over my chest at night feels the same
A montage of all the times I've gotten into bed
And all the different things I was thinking about each time I did
Comes on in my head
And that leads to how many more times will I do that in this bed?
The comforter becomes less comforting and more of a shrill warning
Not to take its warmth for granted
I pull the blanket in closer and turn to face the wall
This isn't the direction I face when I sleep
But this has just become routine

The wall with all its stains and scratches and punctures screams
You're leaving soon
And I can tell it feels relief coming
Because once I'm out it might finally be painted
White, clean, new
Future tenants won't know who lived here

I close my eyes
Look at all the shapes and figures forming in colours
Behind my closed eyelids
Turn to the right, I'm more comfortable that way
Let the shapes become faces
And the darkness become a scene

And I'm asleep again
Again
Again
Again