Peppermint

I lost myself to some kind of paraplegic
Locked me in my room
I know you'll get sick of this soon
It's still the end
My phone is gently resting on a nightgown made of silk I bought for you
And all the things we'll never do

So it's not just me who couldn't leave this be
You saw me chew through mints like they could answer me
Because when you slept resting on my knee
It didn't feel like calm blue walls
It felt like I was settling

For something that would never fit
You're shaking beside me
I wish there weren't all these questions dancing right behind me
I wish that you could make my demons stay inside of me
But it was just a dream
How silly of me

My hopes were high when I slept over the first time
I didn't want to wake you up
But then you looked at me and smiled
And that's enough to bring out all my love
I fucking lost it in the basement because that night wasn't enough

For something that would never fit
You're shaking beside me
I wish there weren't all these questions dancing right behind me
I wish that you could make my demons stay inside of me
But it was just a dream
How silly of me

I never thought about what college life would be
And I know I should be grateful
But I really want to leave
Because all my friends have group chats without me
So when I said I like to be alone
I meant that you were supposed to save me