Pedestal

What are you doing out here?
It's cold, freezing, a thorny frost

What are you doing out here?
It's silent, so quiet, a monk's night

Let me ask you from the edge
Do you think heaven's down there in the river or in the air as you fall?
To that I freeze up, stock still like a snapshot
I fumble after, caught on the letters of my own words, and I'm scared

Let me pull my sleeve back and let your fingers run across my arms
Do you care, now that I'm marked with self-harm?
I smile after, a sickle that just doesn't cut to my eyes
You're sweet but all you care for is a dream

Have you ever seen me look in a mirror?
(I know that my presence is unwelcome)
Terror lying in wait (Like presents full of rocks)
Have you seen me in short sleeves?
(I know that to you, I try too hard, the persistence of dirty socks)
I'd just be pity-bait (I know that I don't know you know you)
Where hope doesn't even rate (And love becomes something to mock)

I cared then and now I care again
This time as deep as a friend

It would be nice to come down
From having to sit, regal with a crown

Let me rub your arms with a linger in my fingers
This? This is enough for now

Let me droop my eyes and sigh without a lie
This? This is nice

Let us share a cigarette
The one thing that kills mutually
While the river runs and the wind blows
And the sun, its crown peeking
To shine on
A fallen pedestal