Hate My Own Skin

Yeah, I got this demon inside
And I spoke with it last night
It told me, You'll never be free from these issues, you'll need a lifetime supply of those tissues
And that played on my mind
It made me think of it all the time
It made me wanna drink one more time
It made me feel I was on the brink like last time

And that demon is still with me
It haunts all of my dreams
Wonder if I'll get rid of it
But it'll stay it seems
Just last night
It put up a fight
And I can't get it off of me
So I'll die with the demon, it's just if it'll take control of me
Yeah
You know there ain't a day that I don't think 'bout suicide
My mouth feels like it's tied and inside my mind I cry
I think 'bout all those times that I was close to death
And I wonder why I didn't just leave my soul to rest
Yeah

Time doesn't heal you, you heal yourself with time
I thought 'bout that all night
And then I contemplated life
I asked, what's the meaning of it
If eventually we die
And a rose grew from the concrete
Now here's the other side

I always think of how blessed I am
To have a roof above me
Food on the table
And love all around me
But that don't make me happy
Even though it should
'Cause I still got these thoughts in my head
And I'm thinkin' maybe I should

Do I take my own life
'Cause it's been broken all night
Do I live with this fear
That I'll never get rid of this fright
I fear all of my fears
They always bring me down to tears
Could I ask that you spare my life although I don't want to be here

I hate my own skin
My problems are burned and buried deep within
They ask me how I've been
And I say I feel I'm in the bin
They tell me take it on the chin
Like it ain't breaking me within
They know my problems are built-in
They don't know where to begin
How we do get rid of these problems
How do we even fuckin' solve 'em
He says he's feelin' numb
Then there's no way to fuckin' resolve 'em
His mind is in the slum
He wants relief but that won't come
He doesn't remember where he's from
Now his world is lookin' glum
Yeah

And if you know me, you know that I'm broken beyond repair
Got people actin' like they care
They pretend to be there
But I swear
Could send a text and they'll just stare
And that's the way it'll forever be
When I leave this earth, hope that you remember me
But right now I got this demon with me
And now he's part of my family