Stranger in the Bed

I woke up in the middle of the night to see an unfamiliar head
Blonde chick with a British set of teeth, must be a stranger in the bed
I asked her kindly, will you leave? She overpowered me instead
That night my innocence was stolen by a stranger in the bed

You asked me how she got there, why you scratched the paint off the rocking chair
I don't know, honey, I promise, I swear, why would I violate the terms of marriage
You said, cause we haven't fucked in months I said, yeah, but we still have fun
Our love is more than just sex, oh, excuse me, honey, I just got a text

Don't sit there and tell me I've not tried
It's not my fault that our love died
Loyalty is a battle not easily won when you're dealing with a loaded gun
She threw her china plates at me
One ricocheted off the TV
A shard went deep into my chest
Got blood all over my sweater vest

They rushed me into theatre five And tried their best to keep me alive
My wife was crying in the cafe
Tears falling into her latte
At ten to two I passed away
I hope she loves again someday
She probably thinks I hate her guts
But I'm just glad I died with
Empty nuts
Empty nuts