Heaven

I am a pessimistic
Self sabotaging
I eat my brain to the point
I can't stand myself more
I want to quit it
But I become a competition
Without the end and applause in golden
In front of mirror
Who is this person?
Year to year, nothing changes
Only smile is sadder
I don't recognize it
I want replay it
All those twenty years
That I fritter away

I want to fly right in heaven
Where I can be who I want
Is it sad to waste your life
To a dream about whom you never were

I want to set that tune like I know what I am doing
All those wise bright looks are pointing at me
Like a bullet in my head, stopping my breath
I still fight for life knowing that I am dying
But at least I had fame, nothing to ashamed
Does it matter if it was the reason for my fall down
Society or time would do it any way
Glory made that process a bit faster
Made me root from inside out

I want to fly right in heaven
Where I can be who I want
Is it sad to waste your life
To a dream about whom you never were

Opening up that closed, I want to slip all on
I am going to be wife, husband all in one
I won't care if job had lack of sense
My potential invested in fire-side
Alas, my ego would remind me about that soon
Won't let me rove around doing act of grace
My mind will drop me of the rail fast again
I would think about past life best that I ever had

I want to fly right in heaven
Where I can be who I want
Is it sad to waste your life
To a dream about whom you never were